Taming the Anxiety Monster – Part 1

I recently asked fellow friends and family on social media what mental health topic they would like to learn more about and the resounding response was anxiety. In the United States, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness (1). In the first half of 2019, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that eight percent of the population had generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and in May 2020, that number rose to 30 percent (2). The COVID-19 pandemic and the drastic changes that came with it caused a 22 percent spike in the diagnosis of anxiety disorders.

For decades, people have been told that small doses of anxiety are helpful for the brain to focus and accomplish tasks. This belief came from a study in 1957 that showed how rats swam faster after holding their heads under water (2). In 2015, another study found that any level of stress inhibits performance and the more stress, the worse the performance (2). We see from the first study that the rats’ fear caused their brain to react with a normal fight, flight, freeze response. That type of fear reaction is adaptive in rats and humans, and it helps us get out of harm’s way. Anxiety is different because it arises from uncertainty or the unknown, and it is maladaptive (2).

Anxiety is maladaptive because it causes difficulty with thinking, performing, making logical decisions, and it predisposes us to depression (2). Most people do not realize that their approach to anxiety is often what keeps them in a constant dysfunctional cycle, reinforcing the brain’s reward center, and resulting in the brain responding with more anxiety so it can be rewarded again (2). For instance, when you worry and engage in activities that cause you to feel a sense of control, you feel better for a short time but you also reinforce a cycle of trigger, behavior, and reward (2).

A common negative response to anxiety is to tell yourself to stop worrying, rationalize away your feelings, attempt to escape them, or judge the anxious part of you. Those approaches do little to help and result in increased anxiety. A more helpful way to approach your anxiety is with curiosity and compassion. When you are experiencing anxiety, it is an indication that an internal part of you called your “exile” needs attention (3). As a preface here, it is completely normal for all humans to have inner parts of themselves, with the ultimate goal being that those parts work together as one unique whole called the “self”. I like to think of the exile part as your inner wounded child-self. It’s the part that is usually vulnerable, pushed aside and ignored. Just as a fearful 5-year-old needs comfort and assurance from an adult to calm down, our exile part needs the same approach from us. This process of interacting with your anxious part takes a great deal of practice, but you can start by personifying your exile part and visualizing yourself being compassionate toward it. Over time, exercises like this will become easier and you will begin to stop the cycle of reinforcing negative behaviors that lead to increased anxiety.

As you have now learned about the misunderstood role of anxiety in people’s lives, hopefully, you have a clearer understanding of how it plays a role in your brain becoming stuck in a cycle of needing to experience more anxiety in order to reward itself. You have also learned that there are more adaptive ways to attend to your anxiety by focusing on the internal parts of yourself that need you to be curious and compassionate, instead of dismissive and avoidant. In the second part of this blog series, you will learn more about your internal parts and how developing a relationship with them can help you tame the anxiety monster within.

(Originally posted at http://www.familytransformation.com on July 19, 2021)

References

1. Anxiety & Depression Association of America. Retrieved from: https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics
2. Brewer, J. PhD. (2021 July/August). “We’ve Got Anxiety All Wrong.” Psychology Today.
3. Cook, A. PhD. & Miller, K. (2018). Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies. Nashville: Nelson Books

Originally posted on January 10, 2021 for the Center for Family Transformation.

January is about beginnings! It’s the start to a new year, and many of us established goals and resolutions to accomplish. Most of us are eager to put 2020 behind us and hoping for the best in 2021.  However, we are also apprehensive about what it will look like with the COVID-19 pandemic still in full-force. It’s now halfway through February and I wonder how you are doing will your goals.

Goals and resolutions are important, but commitment to them can be difficult. Various studies have been conducted on the success rates of these resolutions, and the majority of the studies reveal that 50% of people give up within one to three months; the 12-month success rates range from 8-20% (1). There are many factors that contribute to these statistics. Most individuals who give up could have a stronger connection to mental and emotional buffers that might keep them on track.

From the standpoint of brain structure, our prefrontal cortex (near our forehead) is responsible for our willpower, which can be compared to the more unconscious emotional power of the amygdala (near the back-center of our head) (2). When we have too many goals or life adjustments planned, we experience “cognitive [over]load,” which is taxing on our willpower (2). In this state, our resolutions create chronic stress that weakens our willpower and emotions.

If you want to stick to your 2021 goals, the key to success is improving your emotional health. Practicing self-care that includes rest for your body, mind, and soul is very important for emotional health. Lack of rest leads to negative thinking, poor decision-making, digestive problems, increased cravings for “junk food,” increased weight-gain, increased in the “hunger hormone,” and so forth (3).

Another important aspect of emotional health is increasing your joy. Joy is experienced within relationships where someone is genuinely glad to be with you (4). It can also be increased by the daily practice of gratitude (4). When you are experiencing joy, you will crave food less, you will make better choices, and you will have more motivation to live out your goals. Joy helps our brains grow better than any healthy food and improves our immune system better than exercise (4).

As you think about what you would like to accomplish this year, remember that attending to your mental and emotional health will promote the needed “superpower” to remain faithful to what you would like to achieve.

Resources

1. Studies retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2980864/ and https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2728957/

2. Kennedy, J. J. Ph.D. (January, 1, 2021). The Neuroscience of Your New Year’s Resolution: How can You Be Happier, Thinner OR REALLY Successful in 2021?  Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-reboot/202101/the-neuroscience-your-new-year-s-resolution

3. Leaf, C. (April 16, 2018). Podcast: Episode #28: What Happens in Our Brain and Body When We Don’t Sleep. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiczGCYI7JA

4. Wilder, J. (2014). Joy Starts Here: The Transformation Zone. Shepherd’s House Inc.: East Peoria, IL.

The current pandemic has forced most people to stay home. It can be difficult to focus on completing work and school tasks with increased anxiety and isolation. This video offers helpful tips for completing work, school, and other tasks quickly while stuck at home.

The majority of our nation and world is following a stay-at-home order because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Being confined to our homes can cause more tension between family members, especially in marriage. In this short video, I present you with tips for connecting with your spouse and engaging in healthy communication.