It is widely known that anyone who is lost without a proper compass or sense of direction will always walk in circles. German scientist, Jan Souman released a study in 2009 on people’s ability to walk a straight trajectory. In his study, he took six people to a forest, told them to walk for four hours and pointed them in the direction he intended them to go. Four of the people walked in circles the entire time, crossing their own paths up to three times. The other two people walked in a relatively straight direction, except for the first 15 minutes. What is so interesting about the study is that the four who walked in circles did so on a cloudy day and the two who walked straight only had cloud cover for the first 15 minutes and then the sun came out. (1)

What I love about this study is the link between following the sun and walking straight. The sun is what gave people their sense of direction.

If you think about the situations you have faced throughout your life, do you continue to face the same things over and over – relationship issues, problems with jobs, financial mishaps, bad habits or addictions? Sometimes we think, “If I find a new partner, get a new job or win the lottery none of these things will happen anymore.” The reality is that changing those things usually won’t fix this endless cycle.

Just like the sun guided the people in the study above, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, can guide each of us in the right direction. So instead of facing the same problems over and over, let the Word of God direct your decisions and spend time seeking what the Lord wants you to do.

Knowing the truth and deciding not to do anything about it is like a person hiking in an unfamiliar forest with a compass in his or her pocket, but deciding not to use it. This person will always get lost and continue to walk in circles.

The Bible records Jesus using the phrase, “follow me” over 20 times. It’s that simple! Follow Him and he will lead you in the right direction.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 say, All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. NIV

1. Current Biology, Volume 19, Issue 18, 29 September 2009, Pages 1538–1542

I have never met a person who doesn’t love diamonds. Sometimes I find it hard not to stare when I see one of these sparkling rocks on the hand of another woman or displaying in a glass case in the shopping mall. I have to admit, as often as I’ve admired the unique beauty of this gem, I have never thought much about the process it takes for the diamond to become so stunning.

Bear with me as I briefly explain the process of forming diamonds.

Diamonds are formed deep within the upper layer of the earth’s mantle where there is extreme heat. The combination of the heat along with high pressure and heavy weight from the rock above are what cause the diamond to grow in size and form. The way diamonds end up on the surface of the earth is through a violent, forceful eruption. (1)

The interesting thing about diamonds is that when they are found, they are not very impressive looking. If you or I were to see one of these diamonds on the ground, we would probably kick it aside, mistaking it for an irregular piece of glass, smeared with oil. (2)

In fact, once a diamond is found it has to pass through the hands of three different people whose jobs are to split it, cut it and polish it. These additional processes require it to be broken apart, roughed up and once again, placed in extreme heat. Sometimes months, and even years, are required for the perfecting of a single stone. (3)

What I love about this whole process is how easily it relates to our lives.

Like diamonds, many of us have been put through some intense heat and pressure throughout life. We’ve been through some horrific tragedies and circumstances that have placed enormous weight and pain on top of us. Sometimes in the process of dealing with our pain, we are forcefully pushed into a life that we would never wish on anyone. As we continue to process the shock and pain of our situation, we feel like a dirty tainted diamond lying in a pile of dirt, unnoticed and maybe even kicked by those around us. We’re a mess and we know it! We have rough, sharp edges that have developed because of these painful situations.

Then one day, just like a diamond miner is an expert at spotting this rare gem, the Lord sees us and picks us up out of the dirt. He assures us that He can wipe away our grease covered exterior and chip away at our calloused layers to make us whole again. Many times the Lord shows us someone else who has been through his process of refining and it gives us hope. Sometimes we are even caught off guard as we accept this promise and are suddenly taken through another painful process that breaks us, cuts us and buffs out our flaws. When we said “yes” we never realized how much it was going to hurt to have our painful memories and experiences polished away. Yet in the end we become a beautifully and wonderfully made person that is greater because of what we have been through. Sometimes this painful process can take a long time, but we have to hold on to hope. Phil 1:6 promises that He who began a good work in you will complete it.

Perhaps those of us who have been through the most pressure and the hardest trials are the ones whom the Lord intends to be the most brilliant and beautiful!

Articles

1. Smithsonian Magazine, December 2006

2. Natural History Magazine, May-June 1921

3. Precious Stones Guide Vol 2, 2004

At the beginning of this week I decided that I was going to get back on track by eating healthy. On Tuesday morning when I arrived at the office, I noticed someone had left an unopened package of Oreos for everyone to enjoy. I immediately thought, “Oh great, I love Oreos! How am I going to resist sitting around the corner from them?”

As I sat at my desk, I couldn’t stop thinking about those delicious, crème filled cookies. The moment I felt the slightest hunger pang, I got up and ate a couple. You would think eating those few would have satisfied me, but it actually made me want them even more. I decided to skip lunch and indulge in more Oreos. I think I probably ate an entire row.

After a few hours of feeling guilty for my indulgence, I decided to eat a healthy salad. Later, as I arrived home for the day, my kids were already off the bus and enjoying ice cream sandwiches for their afternoon snack. I couldn’t resist that soft cookie outside and the strawberry, vanilla and chocolate ice cream filling, so I took one to my study to eat while I browsed Facebook. Boy was I feeling guilty. I told myself no more, but as soon as dinner was over, I realized that there were dark chocolate chips in the cabinet and I couldn’t resist eating two handfuls.

I blew it, big time and I knew the only thing I could do to make up for my lack of self-control was to exercise. So as soon as I put my kids to bed, I put on my running shoes, turned on the Biggest Loser and started up my treadmill. Toward the end of my 5-mile run, Dolvett Quince, one of the trainers on the show, was in the faces of the contestants yelling, “Regain Control!” That’s when it hit me – I needed to regain my self-control.

Galatians 5:23 tells us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. The Bible also says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (self-control).” So God gives us the ability to have self-control, but we also have a selfish flesh nature that always wants to be lazy, takes the easy way out and always wants instant gratification.

Living a life without self-control will lead to a life of misery. If I continued to eat like I did the other day, it would eventually lead to obesity, disease and death. Spending too much money leads to a life of debt. Constantly thinking negatively leads to depression, bitterness and despair. Laziness leads to poverty. Giving in to drugs and alcohol leads to a life of addiction. Not being able to control your temper destroys relationships. And the list goes on…

So what happens when we are working at self-control and completely mess up like I did? We have to start again and allow the Holy Spirit to strengthen us. We have to be more interested in becoming who God wants us to be, over what pleases us now. We have to continually practice self-control in order to become a master at it.

Practicing self-control can be just like starting a new workout. Your muscles scream out in pain. You often find out that you had muscles you didn’t even know were there, but if you continue to work out, eventually the pain subsides and your body will get in great shape.  The same is true for working at self-control. Our flesh will always fight back because it’s too painful, but we have to keep trying and relying on the Holy Spirit. Eventually we will become a master over what used to control us, but we have to be willing to endure the pain of discipline today instead of the pain of regret tomorrow!

Hebrews 12:11 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Here is a funny illustration on self-control.

A few months ago my husband and I were so frustrated by our kids’ constant outbursts of anger that we were starting to lose it ourselves. It seemed like my kids couldn’t have a normal conversation without yelling, stomping their feet or blaming someone else.  This had been going on for quite a while and we were at a loss for what to do. Whenever one of our kids had an outburst we would give out a punishment, but we weren’t seeing any improvement.  It seemed like each outburst was contributing to the next, creating an avalanche that was causing more and more damage as it grew.

There were many days I lost it and had to apologize to my kids for my reaction.  One day my son had been pushing the limit so much that my easy-going husband exploded. My son had never seen his father like that, and I’m not sure that I had ever seen my husband that mad either.  After that incident my husband and I knew we had to find some answers.

The truth is, between parents, relatives and authority in my life, I’ve never seen anyone appropriately model self-control in this area.  In fact, I’ve been around more people than I would like to admit that make me feel like I have to tip toe around them because I never know when they are going to have an outburst.

My first step in finding answers is always the Bible, so I quickly looked up a couple scriptures that mention anger. In my search I was reminded that the Bible clearly says to deal with our anger before the day is over and not to allow it to cause us to sin.

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Psalm 4:4

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:26

One of the reasons so many of us struggle with anger is because we have been told that it’s wrong to be angry.  When we were punishing our kids for getting angry, that is exactly what we were telling them.  Many of us tell our kids at young ages to stop crying, which in turn tells them that it’s wrong to express emotions.  Anger is an emotion that God gave us and we need to be able to express it, especially when it’s relating to things like injustice.  The problem comes when our anger turns into wrath because we don’t know how to properly deal with it.

Now instead of punishing our kids we have created some steps to help learn how to process anger:

1. Remove yourself from the situation – We go to our bedrooms.
2. Do something to blow off steam – Something like exercising or yelling into a pillow that will release the surge of adrenaline that was created from the anger.
3. Take time to think about what made you so angry.
4. Find a way to put your feelings into words. If this is difficult to speak, writing in a journal can make it easier. (Click here for helpful feeling words.)
5. Think about how you can deal with your anger better in the future.
6. Listen to a worship song, ask the Lord for forgiveness and pray for victory in the future.
7. Then when you’re ready, talk out your problem with the other person.

Just remember to allow yourself time to express your emotions, but don’t allow them to control your life.

It takes a lot of self-control to get anger under control and if you struggle in this area, you won’t change in one day. It’s a process of growing and stumbling along the way, but if you put in the effort and pray continually, you will make progress and eventually learn how to express your emotions in a healthy way.

I’m still learning.

As a kid I had a wild imagination. For years I would lay in bed at night, afraid of the things that my mind believed. My bedroom was on the first floor and it scared me to death. I was always afraid that some “mad man” was looking at me through the small opening on the side of the window shade. Since I was the youngest in my family, I always had to go to bed before everyone else and I used to lay in bed worried that my family might really be aliens. I believed that during the day they disguised themselves as humans, and at night they revealed their true alien forms.

I know what you are thinking. My husband thought the same thing; “You are weird!” But am I? Maybe as a kid your thoughts weren’t as absurd as mine, but I’m sure you had fears that are just as laughable.

We all know that the things we were scared of as kids were just part of our imagination, but as adults we still have thoughts that are just as fearful for us today.  Thoughts like; My life will never get better than this; I’ll never get married; What if my husband or child dies?; No one likes or respects me; I’ve messed up too much; I don’t deserve great things for my life; There’s nothing in life worth living for; and the list goes on…

If we continue to live with these false perceptions, they can become like a cancer that spreads, eating away at who we are and leaving us with no hope for tomorrow.

Our thoughts can penetrate and manipulate our mind in such a deep way that we begin to think poorly of ourselves and we often become paralyzed with fear. Our mind alone has the power to either lead us into despair and hopelessness, or give us the confidence to live a life of joy and peace. Romans 8:6 says, “So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”

The reason so many of us struggle with our thoughts and allow our imagination to take over is because we aren’t allowing the Holy Spirit to control our minds.  Colossians 3:1-2 says, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

The dangerous pattern we fall into from early childhood is that we let everything going on around us determine our thoughts.  The key to stopping this unhealthy and paralyzing cycle is to allow the Spirit of God to renew our thoughts on a daily basis. We have to choose to do what the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”

What negative thoughts have you been believing that need to be replaced with the truth?