Many people live with anxiety without realizing it may be connected to past experiences. What feels like constant worry, overthinking, or being “on edge” can sometimes be a trauma response, shaped by the body and brain’s attempt to stay safe.

This doesn’t mean all anxiety comes from trauma — but for many people, trauma plays a significant role in why anxiety feels persistent, intense, or difficult to control.

Understanding the difference can be an important step toward healing.

What Is Trauma?

Trauma occurs when an experience overwhelms your nervous system’s ability to cope. This can include:

• Abuse or neglect
• Accidents or medical emergencies
• Witnessing violence or death
• Natural disasters
• Childhood emotional wounds
• Chronic stress in unsafe or unpredictable environments

Trauma isn’t defined only by what happened — but by how your system experienced it. Two people can go through similar events and have very different responses.

Why Anxiety Is Common After Trauma

Anxiety is deeply connected to the body’s stress response, often referred to as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

In healthy situations, anxiety rises when danger is present and settles when safety returns. Trauma can interrupt this cycle.

After trauma:

• The nervous system may stay on high alert
• Threat detection becomes overactive
• Anxiety no longer turns off easily

This can leave someone feeling anxious even when life appears calm or safe.

How Trauma Changes the Brain’s Threat Response

Traumatic experiences can alter how the brain processes danger.

Research shows trauma can:

• Keep the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) overly active
• Reduce the brain’s ability to distinguish past threats from present ones
• Trigger anxiety responses from reminders rather than real danger

This means a sound, tone of voice, situation, or relationship dynamic can activate anxiety as if the trauma were happening again, even when it isn’t.

Is All Anxiety Caused by Trauma?

No. Anxiety can develop for many reasons, including:

• Genetics
• Chronic stress
• Health conditions
• Life transitions
• Environmental factors

You can experience anxiety without trauma, and you can experience trauma without developing an anxiety disorder.

However, trauma significantly increases the likelihood that anxiety becomes persistent or intense.

Anxiety After Trauma vs PTSD

Anxiety after trauma does not automatically mean someone has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

PTSD is diagnosed when symptoms are:

• Persistent
• Pervasive
• Disruptive to daily functioning

Many people experience trauma-related anxiety without meeting criteria for PTSD — but still struggle with symptoms that deserve support.

Signs Anxiety May Be a Trauma Response

Trauma-based anxiety often looks different from generalized anxiety. Some common signs include:

Over-Apologizing and People-Pleasing

Constantly trying to avoid conflict or minimize your needs may be a survival strategy learned in unsafe environments. This response — sometimes called fawning — helps maintain safety by keeping others calm.

Hypervigilance: Always Being on Edge

If you’re constantly scanning for danger, overanalyzing tone or facial expressions, or expecting something to go wrong, your nervous system may still be operating as if a threat is present.

Difficulty Making Decisions

Trauma can disrupt trust in yourself. If mistakes once carried serious consequences, decision-making can feel overwhelming or paralyzing.

Avoidance of Certain Situations or People

Avoidance isn’t always about fear — sometimes it’s the nervous system trying to prevent re-experiencing pain. While protective, avoidance can unintentionally reinforce anxiety over time.

Shutting Down or Dissociation

Some people don’t feel anxious — they feel numb, disconnected, or “checked out.” Dissociation is another trauma response that helps the brain escape overwhelm.

Anxiety in Safe Relationships

Attachment trauma can make closeness feel unsafe. You may worry about abandonment, struggle to trust kindness, or feel anxious even in healthy relationships.

Perfectionism and Harsh Self-Criticism

For some, perfectionism developed as a way to avoid punishment, rejection, or shame. The inner critic may be less about self-improvement and more about survival.

Startling Easily or Feeling Jumpy

An exaggerated startle response is common when the nervous system remains in fight-or-flight mode long after danger has passed.

Why Trauma-Based Anxiety Feels So Hard to Control

Trauma-based anxiety isn’t just about thoughts — it’s about physiology.

When the nervous system believes danger is ongoing:

• Logic alone won’t calm it
• Reassurance may feel ineffective
• The body reacts faster than the mind

This is why trauma-informed approaches often focus on regulation, safety, and embodiment, not just cognitive strategies.

Can Trauma-Based Anxiety Heal?

Yes. Trauma responses are adaptations, not defects.

They developed to protect you when protection was needed. With awareness, support, and the right tools, the nervous system can learn that danger has passed.

Healing often involves:

• Nervous system regulation
• Building safety in the body
• Gently addressing avoidance patterns
• Processing traumatic experiences at a tolerable pace

When to Seek Support

If anxiety:

• Feels chronic or intense
• Is tied to past experiences
• Leads to shutdown, avoidance, or panic
• Affects relationships or daily functioning

Trauma-informed therapy can help you understand and work with your anxiety rather than fight it.

Trauma-Informed Anxiety Therapy in the Lake Norman Area

If you’re exploring whether your anxiety may be connected to trauma and live in Lake Norman, Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, or Cornelius, working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you understand your patterns and support long-term nervous system healing.

Frequently Asked Questions About Trauma and Anxiety

Can trauma cause anxiety years later?

Yes. Trauma can affect the nervous system long after an event has passed, especially if it was never processed or felt safe to address at the time.

Does having anxiety mean I have PTSD?

No. Anxiety can occur without PTSD. PTSD is diagnosed when trauma-related symptoms are persistent, severe, and significantly impair daily life.

Why does my anxiety feel triggered by small things?

Trauma can make the brain sensitive to reminders of past danger. These reminders don’t have to be logical or obvious to activate anxiety.

Can trauma-based anxiety improve without therapy?

Some people experience improvement through self-regulation tools and support, but therapy is often helpful for addressing deeper trauma patterns safely and effectively.

Final Thoughts

Not all anxiety comes from trauma — but for many people, anxiety is the nervous system remembering what the mind may not.

Recognizing anxiety as a possible trauma response isn’t about labeling yourself — it’s about understanding your body with compassion and choosing support that meets you where you are.

Blogs in this Series

What is the difference between Fear and Anxiety?

What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety in Everyday Life

Why Anxiety Feels Physical in the Body

How to Calm Anxiety in the Moment When You Feel Overwhelmed

Mindfulness VS Grounding for Anxiety

When anxiety rises, you’ll often hear advice like “be mindful” or “try grounding.” While both can be helpful, mindfulness and grounding are not the same thing, and one may be more effective than the other depending on what’s happening in your body.

Understanding the difference can help you choose the right tool in the moment—instead of feeling frustrated when a technique doesn’t work the way you hoped.

Why the Distinction Matters When Anxiety Is High

When anxiety is mild, reflective practices can feel accessible. But when anxiety is intense or overwhelming, the nervous system is often in survival mode, not thinking mode.

In those moments:

• Some techniques feel soothing
• Others feel impossible or even activating

This is often not because you’re “doing it wrong,” but because the tool doesn’t match your current nervous system state.

What Mindfulness Really Is

Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally noticing your internal experience—thoughts, emotions, sensations—without judgment.

It often involves:

• Observing thoughts rather than reacting to them
• Noticing emotions with curiosity
• Staying present with inner experience
• Allowing sensations to rise and fall

Mindfulness works best when the nervous system is already somewhat regulated and able to tolerate internal awareness.

How Mindfulness Helps Anxiety

Mindfulness can be helpful for anxiety by:

• Reducing reactivity to anxious thoughts
• Increasing emotional awareness
• Helping you notice patterns over time
• Building long-term emotional regulation

For many people, mindfulness becomes a powerful preventative and integrative practice—something that helps reduce anxiety over time rather than stop it instantly.

When Mindfulness Can Feel Hard or Unhelpful

During moments of high anxiety or panic, mindfulness can sometimes feel:

• Overwhelming
• Too inward-focused
• Intensifying rather than calming

This happens because anxiety already pulls attention inside the body. Turning inward further can amplify sensations like a racing heart, shortness of breath, or dizziness.

This doesn’t mean mindfulness is bad—it just may not be the right first step in the moment.

What Grounding Is

Grounding is about orienting outward—using the senses and body to connect with the present environment.

Grounding techniques focus on:

• What you can see, hear, feel, or touch
• Movement and physical sensation
• External cues of safety

Rather than observing anxiety, grounding helps interrupt it.

How Grounding Helps Anxiety in the Moment

Grounding works especially well when anxiety is intense because it:

• Pulls attention away from anxious loops
• Signals safety to the nervous system
• Reduces physical activation
• Helps the body settle before the mind

This is why grounding tools like the 3-3-3 rule or 5-4-3-2-1 technique are often effective during moments of overwhelm.

Mindfulness vs Grounding: A Nervous System Lens

Instead of asking “Which is better?”, a more helpful question is:

“What does my nervous system need right now?”

• If anxiety is high, fast, or physical → grounding first
• If anxiety is milder or reflective → mindfulness may help
• If anxiety is settling → mindfulness can deepen regulation

Many people benefit from using grounding first, then transitioning into mindfulness once the body feels safer.

How to Choose the Right Tool in the Moment

Ask yourself:

• Am I feeling flooded or panicked right now?
• Does focusing inward make things louder?
• Do I need to feel safer in my body first?

If the answer is yes, grounding is often the most supportive starting point.

Once anxiety decreases, mindfulness can help you:

• Reflect on what came up
• Understand triggers
• Integrate the experience

Using Both Together

Mindfulness and grounding don’t have to compete. In fact, they often work best together.

A common sequence:

1. Grounding to calm the nervous system
2. Mindfully notice what you’re feeling
3. Respond with intention rather than urgency

This approach supports both immediate relief and long-term growth.

When Neither Feels Accessible

Sometimes anxiety is so intense that even grounding feels difficult. In these moments:

• Self-compassion matters more than technique
• Support from another person can help regulate the nervous system
• Professional guidance may be needed

You don’t need to manage anxiety alone, and struggling with techniques does not mean you’re failing.

Anxiety Support in the Lake Norman Area

If anxiety frequently feels overwhelming and tools don’t seem to help, therapy can support deeper nervous system regulation. For those living in Lake Norman, Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, or Cornelius, working with a therapist can help you learn how to choose and use the right tools at the right time—based on how your system works.

Frequently Asked Questions About Mindfulness and Grounding

Is grounding better than mindfulness for anxiety?

Grounding is often more effective during intense anxiety because it orients attention outward and helps calm the nervous system. Mindfulness can be helpful once anxiety has settled.

Why does mindfulness sometimes make anxiety worse?

Mindfulness can intensify anxiety when attention turns inward while the nervous system is highly activated. In those moments, grounding may be more supportive.

Can I use both mindfulness and grounding?

Yes. Many people benefit from grounding first to calm the body, then using mindfulness to reflect and integrate once they feel safer.

How do I know which one to use?

Notice whether your anxiety feels intense and physical or calmer and reflective. Grounding helps during overwhelm; mindfulness helps during integration.

Final Thoughts

Mindfulness and grounding are both valuable tools—but they serve different purposes. When anxiety is overwhelming, the most helpful question isn’t “What should I do?” but “What does my nervous system need right now?”

Learning to respond with flexibility rather than pressure can make all the difference.

Blogs in this Series

What is the difference between Fear and Anxiety?

What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety in Everyday Life

Why Anxiety Feels Physical in the Body

How to Calm Anxiety in the Moment When You Feel Overwhelmed

Anxiety can rise quickly—your heart races, your chest feels tight, your thoughts spiral, and suddenly it feels hard to think clearly or stay present. When anxiety becomes overwhelming, you don’t need to fix it or make it disappear. What helps most is learning how to calm anxiety in the moment so your nervous system can settle.

The techniques below are simple, practical ways to reduce anxiety as it’s happening—whether you’re sitting in traffic, lying awake at night, waiting for an appointment, or feeling emotionally flooded.

What Anxiety Feels Like in the Moment

Anxiety involves feelings of fear, dread, and uneasiness, often paired with physical sensations. Common signs that anxiety is escalating include:

• Rapid heartbeat or shallow breathing
• Muscle tension or restlessness
• Dizziness or lightheadedness
• Racing or looping thoughts
• Feeling overwhelmed or out of control

These reactions are driven by the body’s stress response. While uncomfortable, they are not dangerous—and they can be calmed.

Why Calming Anxiety in the Moment Matters

When anxiety isn’t addressed early, it can intensify and spiral. The more alarming the sensations feel, the more attention they receive—and the more the nervous system stays activated.

Learning how to calm anxiety in the moment helps:

• Prevent anxiety from escalating into panic
• Reduce fear of physical symptoms
• Restore a sense of control
• Support clearer thinking and decision-making

You don’t need to wait until anxiety is “severe” to use these tools. They work best when used early and gently.

Calming Techniques That Work in the Moment

Different strategies work for different people. The goal is not perfection—it’s finding what helps your system settle.

Slow the Body First

Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing

Slow breathing sends a direct signal of safety to the nervous system.

How to do it:

• Inhale slowly through your nose so your belly expands
• Pause briefly
• Exhale slowly through your mouth, longer than the inhale

Lengthening the exhale activates the calming (parasympathetic) nervous system. You cannot be deeply calm and highly anxious at the same time.

Gentle Stretching

Anxiety often shows up as tension in the jaw, neck, shoulders, and face.

Try:

• Dropping your jaw and pressing your tongue gently to the roof of your mouth
• Rolling your shoulders or neck slowly
• Shrugging your shoulders up, holding briefly, then releasing

Relaxing the body helps relax the mind.

Ground Your Attention

Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

This grounding exercise helps shift attention away from anxious thoughts.

Name:

• 5 things you see
• 4 things you feel
• 3 things you hear
• 2 things you smell
• 1 thing you taste

A simpler version is the 3-3-3 rule, which uses sight, sound, and movement to bring you back into the present moment.

Engage Your Senses

Touch something with texture, notice temperature, or focus on sounds around you. Sensory input anchors attention in the here and now.

Use Your Mind to Calm the Body

Name What You’re Feeling

Ask yourself:

• “What emotion is present right now?”
• “Is this something happening now—or something I’m worried might happen?”

Labeling emotions engages the rational part of the brain, which helps calm the stress response.

Change the Mental Channel

If possible, shift attention by:

• Listening to music
• Playing a simple word or counting game
• Watching something neutral or calming

The mind cannot fully focus on anxiety and another task at the same time.

Let Anxiety Pass Without Fighting It

Trying to force anxiety away often makes it louder. Instead:

• Notice the sensations
• Remind yourself: “This is anxiety. It will pass.”
• Separate yourself from the symptoms: “It’s not me—it’s my nervous system.”

Allowing anxiety to rise and fall without resistance often shortens its duration.

Use Comfort and Reassurance

Comfort helps regulate the nervous system.

Helpful options include:

• Holding a comforting object
• Wrapping up in a blanket
• Listening to calming music
• Repeating reassuring statements such as:
  “I’m safe right now.”
  “This feeling will pass.”

Gratitude practices—naming a few things you’re thankful for—can also shift the brain toward calming chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin.

Find What Works for You

Anxiety management is personal. Some people calm best with movement, others with breathing, grounding, music, or journaling.

The key is to:

• Experiment
• Stay curious
• Use what works for you

There is no single “right” technique.

When to Seek Professional Support

If anxiety:

• Feels constant or worsening
• Interferes with daily life
• Leads to panic attacks
• Causes avoidance or fear of symptoms

Professional support can help. Therapy and, in some cases, medication are effective treatments for anxiety disorders.

Anxiety Support in the Lake Norman Area

If you’re struggling to calm anxiety in the moment and live in Lake Norman, Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, or Cornelius, therapy can help you learn nervous-system-based tools and address the deeper patterns driving anxiety—so relief lasts beyond the moment.

Frequently Asked Questions About Calming Anxiety

How can I calm anxiety quickly?

Slow breathing, grounding techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, gentle movement, and sensory awareness can help calm anxiety quickly by signaling safety to the nervous system.

Why does anxiety feel overwhelming so fast?

Anxiety activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, which can escalate quickly when the nervous system perceives threat—even if the threat isn’t physical.

What if calming techniques don’t work right away?

Not every technique works instantly or for everyone. It’s normal to need practice and experimentation. If anxiety remains overwhelming, professional support can help.

When should I get help for anxiety?

If anxiety is persistent, severe, or interfering with daily functioning, it’s a good idea to seek help from a mental health professional. Anxiety is very treatable.

Blogs in this Series

What is the difference between Fear and Anxiety?

What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety in Everyday Life

Why Anxiety Feels Physical in the Body

Many people are surprised to learn that anxiety doesn’t just live in the mind. It often shows up physically—as muscle tension, headaches, nausea, shortness of breath, digestive issues, or a racing heart. In some cases, the physical symptoms of anxiety are so strong that people worry something is medically wrong, even when tests come back normal.

Understanding why anxiety feels physical in the body can reduce fear, interrupt symptom spirals, and help you respond with more compassion and clarity when these sensations arise.

Anxiety Is Not “Just in Your Head”

Although anxiety is a mental health condition, its effects are deeply physical. That’s because anxiety activates systems in the body designed to protect you from danger.

When anxiety is present, your body isn’t malfunctioning—it’s responding exactly as it was designed to. The problem isn’t the response itself, but when that response is triggered too often or at the wrong time.

The Role of the Autonomic Nervous System

The physical symptoms of anxiety are driven largely by the autonomic nervous system, which controls automatic bodily functions such as:

• Heart rate
• Breathing
• Digestion
• Muscle tension
• Sweating

This system operates outside of conscious control and includes the fight-or-flight response, which prepares the body to respond to danger.

When anxiety or stress is present, this system activates—even if the threat is emotional, imagined, or remembered rather than physical.

Fight-or-Flight: Helpful, But Often Overused

The fight-or-flight response is meant to protect you in real emergencies. When danger is present, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released to help you react quickly.

However, the nervous system does not distinguish well between real danger and perceived danger. Preparing for a difficult conversation, worrying about your health, or replaying a stressful event can trigger the same physical response as an actual threat.

When this response stays activated too long or too often, physical symptoms appear.

Common Physical Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety can affect the body from head to toe. Common physical symptoms include:

• Rapid or pounding heartbeat
• Shakiness or trembling
• Shortness of breath or rapid breathing
• Digestive issues such as nausea, diarrhea, or stomach pain
• Muscle tension, jaw clenching, or headaches
• Sweating, especially palms or underarms
• Difficulty sleeping or feeling restless
• Fatigue or difficulty concentrating

These symptoms are uncomfortable—but not dangerous. They reflect nervous system activation, not bodily harm.

Why Anxiety Symptoms Can Create a Vicious Cycle

For many people, anxiety becomes a self-reinforcing loop:

1. Anxiety activates physical symptoms
2. The symptoms feel alarming
3. Attention becomes focused on the body
4. Fear about the symptoms increases
5. Anxiety intensifies
6. Physical symptoms worsen

The more closely symptoms are monitored, the louder they often feel. This cycle can become overwhelming and lead people to avoid activities, situations, or even movement out of fear that symptoms will escalate.

When Anxiety Feels Physical Without Worry

Some people experience physical anxiety symptoms without feeling anxious thoughts. They may not feel fearful or worried at all—yet their heart races, their body shakes, or they suddenly feel short of breath.

This can happen because:

• Stress has been ongoing or suppressed
• The nervous system is chronically activated
• Emotional cues are processed outside conscious awareness

In these cases, anxiety may feel like it comes “out of nowhere,” which can be especially confusing and frightening. Even without obvious worry, these symptoms are still anxiety—and they are treatable.

Physical Anxiety vs. Medical Conditions

It’s important to distinguish between anxiety-related physical symptoms and symptoms caused by a medical condition.

For example:

• Anxiety can cause shortness of breath
• Asthma can cause shortness of breath

If symptoms persist, worsen, or don’t improve with rest or calming techniques, it’s important to consult a medical provider. Getting checked can provide reassurance and rule out underlying medical causes.

Once medical concerns are addressed, anxiety can be treated more confidently and effectively.

How to Respond When Anxiety Feels Physical

Stop and Assess

Pause and notice what’s happening in your body. Ask yourself whether symptoms followed stress, emotional strain, or a demanding period of life.

Reassure Yourself

If anxiety is the cause, remind yourself that these sensations are uncomfortable but not harmful. Anxiety symptoms pass as the nervous system settles.

Shift Attention Gently

Distraction can help interrupt symptom spirals. Simple activities—folding laundry, watering plants, listening to music, or working on a puzzle—often reduce symptoms by redirecting attention.

Regulate the Body

Breathing exercises, grounding techniques, gentle movement, or stretching help signal safety to the nervous system.

Why Grounding and Regulation Help

Anxiety is future-focused. Grounding techniques bring awareness back to the present moment, where safety often exists.

By engaging the body and senses, these techniques help:

• Reduce stress hormone release
• Activate calming nervous system pathways
• Decrease physical tension
• Restore a sense of control

This is why grounding tools—such as the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety—are often effective when anxiety feels physical.

When to Seek Professional Support

If physical anxiety symptoms:

• Occur frequently
• Interfere with daily life
• Lead to avoidance
• Cause ongoing health fears
• Feel unmanageable

Working with a therapist can help identify triggers, calm the nervous system, and address underlying stress or trauma contributing to these symptoms.

Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, especially when approached with both emotional and body-based strategies.

Anxiety Therapy in the Lake Norman Area

If you’re experiencing physical anxiety symptoms and live in Lake Norman, Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, or Cornelius, therapy can help you understand what your body is responding to and how to support long-term nervous system regulation—beyond symptom management alone.

Frequently Asked Questions About Physical Anxiety Symptoms

Why does anxiety cause physical symptoms?

Anxiety activates the autonomic nervous system, triggering fight-or-flight responses that affect heart rate, breathing, muscles, digestion, and sweating.

Can anxiety cause symptoms without anxious thoughts?

Yes. Some people experience physical anxiety symptoms without noticeable worry. This can happen when stress is suppressed or processed outside conscious awareness.

Are physical anxiety symptoms dangerous?

Although uncomfortable, anxiety-related physical symptoms are not dangerous. They reflect nervous system activation, not physical damage.

How can I calm physical anxiety symptoms?

Grounding techniques, slow breathing, gentle movement, reassurance, and distraction can help calm the nervous system and reduce physical symptoms.

When should I see a doctor?

If symptoms are persistent, severe, or don’t improve with calming strategies, it’s important to rule out medical causes with a healthcare provider.

Final Thoughts

Anxiety feels physical because it involves the whole nervous system—not just the mind. Understanding what’s happening in your body can reduce fear, interrupt symptom cycles, and help you respond with greater confidence and care.

With the right tools and support, it’s possible to ease the physical impact of anxiety and restore a sense of balance and well-being.

Blogs in this Series

What is the difference between Fear and Anxiety?

What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety in Everyday Life

When anxiety feels overwhelming, your thoughts can spiral quickly—pulling you into worries about the future or replaying moments from the past. Grounding techniques for anxiety are simple, practical tools that help bring your attention back to the present moment so your nervous system can settle.

These techniques don’t aim to make anxiety disappear. Instead, they help you feel more stable, connected, and in control when anxiety starts to rise—especially in everyday situations like work stress, parenting demands, social interactions, or moments of emotional overload.

What Are Grounding Techniques?

Grounding techniques are strategies that help you anchor yourself in the here and now using your body, senses, or focused mental tasks. Anxiety often pulls attention away from the present moment. Grounding gently redirects it back.

Think of grounding techniques as a way to remind your body that you are safe right now, even if your thoughts are racing or your body feels tense.

Grounding techniques are commonly used to help with:

• Anxiety and panic
• Stress and overwhelm
• Trauma responses
• Dissociation or feeling disconnected
• Rumination and overthinking
• Sensory overload

Why Grounding Techniques Help With Anxiety

Anxiety activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, preparing you to respond to danger. While this response is helpful in real emergencies, it can become overactive—causing everyday situations to feel threatening or unmanageable.

Grounding techniques help by:

• Shifting attention away from anxious thoughts
• Engaging the senses to signal safety to the brain
• Activating the calming (parasympathetic) nervous system
• Interrupting anxiety spirals before they escalate

Instead of trying to “think your way out” of anxiety, grounding works through the body, which is often where anxiety is felt most strongly.

Types of Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

Grounding techniques generally fall into three main categories. Different people respond to different approaches, so it’s helpful to experiment and notice what works best for you.

Physical and Sensory Grounding Techniques

These techniques use physical sensations to bring awareness back into the body.

Examples include:

• Placing both feet on the ground and noticing pressure, temperature, or movement
• Rubbing your palms together or holding an object with noticeable texture
• Running cool or warm water over your hands or splashing your face
• Stretching, walking, or gently moving your body
• Taking slow, deep breaths while noticing your belly rise and fall

The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety is a common sensory grounding technique that uses sight, sound, and movement to calm the nervous system.

Mental Grounding Techniques

Mental grounding provides your mind with a neutral focus, helping to interrupt anxious thought loops.

Examples include:

• Counting backward or reciting the alphabet
• Describing an object in detail (color, shape, texture, purpose)
• Naming items in a category, such as animals or foods
• Visualizing a familiar, safe place

These techniques help redirect attention away from worry and back to the present moment.

Soothing Grounding Techniques

Soothing grounding focuses on comfort, reassurance, and emotional safety.

Examples include:

• Imagining the voice or presence of someone who feels safe
• Wrapping up in a blanket or touching something soft
• Using calming music or a grounding playlist
• Repeating reassuring statements like “I’m safe right now”
• Spending time with a pet or in nature

These techniques are especially helpful when anxiety is paired with emotional distress or overwhelm.

How to Use Grounding Techniques in Everyday Life

Grounding techniques are most effective when used early, before anxiety becomes overwhelming—but they can still help during intense moments.

You can use grounding techniques:

• During work stress or meetings
• While driving or running errands
• Before social situations
• At bedtime, when your mind won’t slow down
• During moments of panic or emotional overload

There’s no “right” way to ground yourself. The goal is to simply come back into your body and the present moment, even briefly.

When Grounding Techniques Aren’t Enough

Grounding techniques are powerful tools, but they are not a replacement for therapy when anxiety is persistent, severe, or interfering with daily life.

If anxiety:

• Feels constant or escalating
• Leads to avoidance
• Disrupts sleep, relationships, or work
• Is connected to past trauma or long-term stress

Working with a therapist can help you understand what’s driving your anxiety and build deeper, long-term regulation skills alongside grounding tools.

Anxiety Support in the Lake Norman Area

If you’re struggling with anxiety and live in the Lake Norman area – Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, or Cornelius – therapy can help you move beyond coping alone. Grounding techniques work best when paired with support that addresses the underlying patterns keeping anxiety active.

Frequently Asked Questions About Grounding Techniques

What are grounding techniques for anxiety?

Grounding techniques are simple strategies that help bring attention back to the present moment using the senses, body awareness, or focused mental tasks to calm anxiety.

Do grounding techniques really work?

Many people find grounding techniques effective for reducing anxiety in the moment. While they don’t eliminate anxiety, they can help interrupt spirals and calm the nervous system.

How often should I use grounding techniques?

You can use grounding techniques as often as needed. They are safe, repeatable, and can be practiced daily or during moments of stress.

Are grounding techniques a replacement for therapy?

No. Grounding techniques are helpful tools, but therapy is recommended when anxiety is ongoing, overwhelming, or linked to deeper emotional or trauma-related patterns.

Final Thoughts

Grounding techniques for anxiety aren’t about forcing yourself to calm down or making anxiety disappear. They’re about creating stability in the moment, helping your body feel safe enough to settle, and providing yourself with practical tools to navigate everyday life with greater ease.

Used consistently—and with support when needed—grounding techniques can become a reliable part of your anxiety coping toolkit.

Blogs in this Series

What is the difference between Fear and Anxiety?

What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

When anxiety feels overwhelming, it can be hard to slow your thoughts or calm your body. The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety is a simple grounding technique designed to help interrupt anxious spirals and bring your attention back to the present moment—quickly and safely.

The technique involves noticing three things you see, three things you hear, and three things you can move or touch. While it won’t eliminate anxiety entirely, many people find it helpful for calming their nervous system during moments of acute stress, anxiety, or panic-like symptoms.

What Is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

The 3-3-3 rule is an informal, mindfulness-based grounding exercise used to manage anxiety in the moment. It works by intentionally engaging your senses and body to shift attention away from anxious thoughts and back into your immediate environment.

The goal is not to suppress anxiety, but to ground yourself when anxiety feels intense, helping your body and mind regain a sense of stability and control.

How the 3-3-3 Rule Works

The 3-3-3 rule is easy to use anywhere and can be repeated as often as needed.

Name 3 Things You See

Look around and identify three nearby objects. Take your time and notice details such as color, shape, texture, size, or purpose. These objects can be anything—people, furniture, nature, or items you’re holding.

Identify 3 Things You Hear

Next, listen for three sounds in your environment. These may be obvious (voices, traffic, music) or subtle (air conditioning, birds, your own breathing).

Move or Touch 3 Things

Finally, move three parts of your body or touch three physical objects. This might include rolling your shoulders, wiggling your toes, stretching your fingers, or feeling the surface beneath you.

Many people also add slow, deep breathing to enhance the calming effect.

Why the 3-3-3 Rule Helps With Anxiety

The 3-3-3 rule is considered a grounding technique, which means it helps interrupt anxious rumination and orient attention to the present moment. It can help because it:

• Engages the senses, reducing mental overfocus on worry
• Encourages mindfulness and present-moment awareness
• Calms the body’s stress response
• Redirects attention away from internal anxiety triggers
• Relieves muscle tension through gentle movement

Because our attention is limited, focusing on sensory input naturally reduces the space available for anxious thoughts.

The Science Behind the 3-3-3 Rule

Anxiety often activates the body’s stress response, leading to symptoms such as increased heart rate, muscle tension, shallow breathing, and racing thoughts. Grounding techniques like the 3-3-3 rule help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which supports relaxation and regulation.

By engaging sight, sound, and movement, the brain receives signals that the environment is safe, helping the body gradually settle. While there is no formal research specifically on the 3-3-3 rule itself, it aligns with well-established principles of mindfulness, sensory grounding, and nervous system regulation.

Is the 3-3-3 Rule Effective?

Many people report that the 3-3-3 rule helps them:

• Feel calmer during moments of acute anxiety
• Interrupt spiraling or racing thoughts
• Ground themselves during panic-like symptoms

However, the 3-3-3 rule is not a cure for anxiety. It is best viewed as a short-term coping tool rather than a standalone treatment. Its effectiveness often increases when used consistently and alongside other supportive strategies.

Is the 3-3-3 Rule a Substitute for Anxiety Treatment?

No. While the 3-3-3 rule can be very helpful in the moment, it is not a replacement for therapy, medication, or comprehensive anxiety treatment when those are needed.

If anxiety is persistent, severe, or interfering with daily life, working with a medical or mental health professional can help address underlying causes and develop a long-term plan for healing and regulation.

Tips for Using the 3-3-3 Rule More Effectively

If you experience frequent anxiety, it can help to prepare ahead of time. Some people find it useful to keep:

• A small sensory bag with textured objects
• A photo album on their phone with calming images
• A playlist of soothing or grounding music

Having sensory supports readily available can make grounding easier when anxiety rises.

Other Coping Strategies for Anxiety

The 3-3-3 rule works best as part of a broader anxiety-management approach. Other strategies that may help include:

Deep Breathing

Slow, intentional breathing can activate the body’s relaxation response and reduce physical anxiety symptoms.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Tensing and releasing muscle groups helps relieve tension and promotes physical calm.

Visualization

Imagining peaceful or safe environments can distract the mind from stress and reduce anxious intensity.

Mindfulness and Meditation

These practices build awareness of the present moment and reduce reactivity to anxious thoughts.

Physical Activity

Movement such as walking, dancing, yoga, or strength training can reduce stress hormones and improve mood.

Social Support

Talking with trusted friends, family members, or support groups can provide reassurance and grounding.

Therapy

A mental health professional can help identify anxiety triggers, explore underlying emotional patterns, and develop effective coping strategies for long-term relief.

When to Seek Professional Help for Anxiety

If anxiety becomes frequent, overwhelming, or begins to interfere with work, relationships, sleep, or enjoyment of life, it’s important to seek professional support. Anxiety can take both an emotional and physical toll over time, and early intervention can make a meaningful difference.

Final Thoughts

The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety is a simple yet powerful grounding technique that can help calm the mind and body during moments of heightened anxiety. Engaging your senses and physical movement brings awareness back to the present moment and helps interrupt anxious thought spirals.

While it’s not a replacement for treatment, it can be a valuable tool in your anxiety coping toolbox—especially when paired with therapy, lifestyle support, and compassionate self-care.

Frequently Asked Questions About the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety

What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?

The 3-3-3 rule is a simple grounding technique used to calm anxiety in the moment. It involves noticing three things you see, three things you hear, and moving or touching three parts of your body to help bring attention back to the present.

How does the 3-3-3 rule help calm anxiety?

The 3-3-3 rule works by engaging the senses and body, which helps interrupt anxious thought spirals and signals safety to the nervous system. This can reduce physical tension and mental overfocus during moments of heightened anxiety.

Is the 3-3-3 rule the same as mindfulness?

The 3-3-3 rule is a form of mindfulness-based grounding. Unlike traditional meditation, it is designed to be used quickly during moments of distress rather than as a longer, seated practice.

Can the 3-3-3 rule stop a panic attack?

The 3-3-3 rule may help reduce the intensity of panic-like symptoms by grounding attention in the present moment. While it may not stop a panic attack entirely, many people find it helpful for calming their body as the surge passes.

How often can I use the 3-3-3 rule?

You can use the 3-3-3 rule as often as needed. It is safe to repeat multiple times throughout the day, especially during periods of stress or rising anxiety.

Does the 3-3-3 rule work for everyone?

Not everyone finds the same grounding techniques helpful. While many people benefit from the 3-3-3 rule, others may prefer different sensory, movement-based, or breathing exercises. It can be helpful to experiment and find what works best for you.

Is the 3-3-3 rule backed by science?

There is no formal research specifically on the 3-3-3 rule itself, but it is based on well-supported principles of sensory grounding, mindfulness, and nervous system regulation that are commonly used in anxiety treatment.

Can the 3-3-3 rule replace therapy or medication?

No. The 3-3-3 rule is a short-term coping tool, not a replacement for therapy or medical treatment. If anxiety is persistent or interfering with daily life, professional support can help address underlying causes and provide long-term relief.

What’s the difference between the 3-3-3 rule and the 5-4-3-2-1 technique?

Both are grounding exercises that use the senses to calm anxiety. The 3-3-3 rule is simpler and faster, while the 5-4-3-2-1 technique involves more sensory steps and may take longer to complete.

When should I seek professional help for anxiety?

If anxiety is frequent, overwhelming, or affecting your work, relationships, sleep, or quality of life, it’s a good idea to seek support from a mental health professional.

Other helpful blogs on anxiety:

What Is the Difference Between Anxiety and Fear?

How to Master Effective Techniques for Calming Anxiety – Part 1

Calming Anxiety Part 2

Calming Anxiety Part 3

Many people use anxiety and fear interchangeably—but they are not the same. While they often feel similar in the body and can occur together, they are triggered by different processes in the brain and serve different purposes.

Understanding the difference between anxiety and fear matters because each one requires a different response. When we misinterpret what we’re experiencing, we may try to calm ourselves in ways that don’t actually address the root of the problem—leading to ongoing stress, confusion, or emotional exhaustion.

In this article, we’ll explore:

• The core difference between fear and anxiety
• How your brain and body process each one
• Why they feel so similar
• What fear and anxiety feel like physically and emotionally
• How to work through each one effectively

Fear vs. Anxiety: The Core Difference

The simplest way to understand the difference is this:

• Fear is a response to a real, immediate, and known threat
• Anxiety is a response to a perceived, future, vague, or remembered threat

Fear happens in the present moment. Anxiety pulls from the past or projects into the future.

Both activate the body’s stress response, but what triggers them—and how long they last—differs significantly.

What Is Fear?

Fear is a core, automatic emotion designed for survival. It is triggered through the five senses—sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste—when the brain detects danger in the environment.

Examples of fear include:

• Hearing unexpected footsteps behind you
• Smelling smoke in your home
• Seeing an aggressive animal approaching
• Being suddenly startled by a loud noise

Fear activates the brain’s fight-or-flight response, preparing the body to react quickly. This happens automatically—before conscious thought—because speed is essential for survival.

What Fear Does in the Body

Fear causes immediate physical changes such as:

• Rapid heartbeat
• Shallow or fast breathing
• Sweating
• Muscle tension
• Trembling or flinching
• Nausea or dry mouth

These sensations are not signs that something is “wrong.” They are signs that the body is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you.

Once the threat passes and the fear is fully experienced, the nervous system naturally settles.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is not a direct response to danger in the environment. Instead, it is a reaction to internal emotional tension—often linked to uncertainty, anticipation, memory, or suppressed emotion.

Anxiety commonly arises when:

• A threat is possible but not definite
• The danger is imagined or anticipated
• Past experiences influence how the present feels
• Emotions like fear, sadness, or anger were previously unsafe to express

For example, walking down a dark street alone may cause anxiety due to the possibility of harm. But if someone suddenly threatens you, fear takes over.

Anxiety can also be triggered by situations that are not dangerous at all—such as receiving feedback at work—because the brain associates the present moment with past emotional experiences.

Why Anxiety and Fear Feel So Similar

Fear and anxiety are often confused because they activate the same stress system in the body. Both involve the amygdala and release stress hormones that prepare the body to respond.

This overlap is why both can include:

• Racing heart
• Shortness of breath
• Sweating
• Trembling
• Dizziness
• Muscle tension
• GI discomfort

The difference is not in how they feel—but why they are happening and how long they last.

Fear is usually short-lived and resolves when the danger ends.
Anxiety often lingers because it is fueled by uncertainty, memory, or emotional avoidance.

Fear vs. Anxiety: At a Glance

What Do Fear and Anxiety Feel Like?

Common Fear Sensations

• Racing heartbeat
• Sweating
• Trembling
• Shortness of breath
• Nausea
• Chills
• Dry mouth

Common Anxiety Symptoms

• Persistent nervousness or tension
• Sense of dread or doom
• Difficulty concentrating
• Trouble sleeping
• GI distress
• Dizziness or ear ringing
• Muscle pain or jaw tension
• Rumination and excessive worry
• Avoidance of triggering situations

Because the sensations overlap so much, context is key in determining whether you’re experiencing fear or anxiety.

How to Tell Whether You’re Experiencing Fear or Anxiety

A helpful question to ask yourself is:

“Is there real danger happening right now?”

• If the answer is yes, your body is responding with fear.
• If the answer is no, but your body feels alarmed, it’s likely anxiety.

Anxiety often reflects past experiences influencing present reactions—especially if emotions were once overwhelming, dismissed, or unsafe to express.

How Fear and Anxiety Are Treated Differently

Because fear and anxiety serve different functions, they need different approaches.

Processing Fear

Fear resolves when it is:

• Experienced safely in the body
• Allowed to complete its stress cycle
• Followed by a return to safety

Slowing down, grounding, and allowing the body to settle naturally helps fear pass.

Working Through Anxiety

Anxiety requires:

• Calming the nervous system
• Reducing physical arousal
• Identifying underlying emotions or beliefs
• Addressing patterns shaped by past experiences

Therapy approaches such as CBT, exposure therapy, ACT, and emotion-focused work can be especially helpful in treating anxiety.

When Anxiety Becomes a Mental Health Concern

Anxiety becomes problematic when it:

• Interferes with daily functioning
• Leads to avoidance
• Disrupts sleep, work, or relationships
• Feels constant or uncontrollable

Anxiety is commonly associated with conditions such as:

• Generalized anxiety disorder
• Panic disorder
• Social anxiety disorder
• Phobias
• PTSD
• OCD

If fear or anxiety feels overwhelming or persistent, professional support can help clarify what’s happening and guide effective treatment.

Coping Strategies for Fear and Anxiety

In addition to therapy, research-supported strategies include:

• Deep, slow breathing to activate the relaxation response
• Mindfulness and meditation
• Regular physical movement
• Gradual, safe exposure to feared situations
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Grounding techniques that orient you to the present moment

Facing fear safely—and learning to understand anxiety rather than fight it—helps retrain the nervous system over time.

Final Thoughts

Fear and anxiety are not weaknesses. They are signals—messages from the nervous system asking for attention, understanding, and care.

When you learn the difference between fear and anxiety, you gain clarity:

• Clarity about what your body is responding to
• Clarity about how to support yourself
• Clarity about when to seek help

Understanding what you’re experiencing is the first step toward lasting emotional well-being—and toward responding to fear and anxiety in ways that truly help.

Frequently Asked Questions About Fear and Anxiety

What is the main difference between fear and anxiety?

Fear is a response to a real, immediate threat happening in the present moment, while anxiety is a response to a perceived, anticipated, or remembered threat. Fear helps us respond to danger right now; anxiety often pulls from the past or worries about the future.

Why do fear and anxiety feel so similar in the body?

Fear and anxiety activate the same stress response system in the brain and body, including the release of stress hormones like adrenaline. This is why both can cause a racing heart, shortness of breath, muscle tension, and dizziness—even though their triggers are different.

How can I tell if I’m experiencing fear or anxiety?

A helpful question to ask is: “Is there real danger happening right now?”
If there is immediate danger, you’re likely experiencing fear. If there is no present threat but your body feels alarmed, it’s more likely anxiety.

Is anxiety always related to the future?

Anxiety is often future-focused, but it can also be driven by past experiences. The nervous system may react to present situations that remind it of earlier emotional pain, even if the current situation isn’t dangerous.

Can anxiety exist without fear?

Yes. Anxiety can occur without conscious fear. Some people experience anxiety primarily as physical symptoms—such as muscle tension, stomach discomfort, or restlessness—without feeling overtly afraid.

Why does anxiety last longer than fear?

Fear usually resolves once a threat passes. Anxiety can linger because it is fueled by uncertainty, anticipation, memory, or unprocessed emotion. Without clear resolution, the nervous system may stay activated.

Are fear and anxiety treated the same way?

No. Fear often resolves by allowing the body to complete its stress response and return to safety. Anxiety typically requires calming the nervous system, addressing thought patterns, and exploring underlying emotional or experiential factors—often with therapeutic support.

Can anxiety become a mental health disorder?

Yes. Anxiety becomes a mental health concern when it is persistent, overwhelming, or interferes with daily life. Conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety, PTSD, and OCD involve chronic anxiety patterns.

What helps calm fear in the moment?

Fear settles when the body recognizes that danger has passed. Grounding, slowing down, and allowing physical sensations to resolve naturally can help the nervous system return to balance.

What helps manage anxiety long-term?

Effective anxiety management often includes nervous system regulation, therapy (such as CBT, ACT, or trauma-informed approaches), mindfulness, movement, and learning to understand rather than suppress emotional signals.

Is anxiety a sign of weakness?

No. Fear and anxiety are normal protective responses designed to keep us safe. Struggling with them does not mean you are weak—it means your nervous system is doing its job, sometimes too intensely.

The Quiet Power of Mental Health in Daily Living

Most of us go about our days without thinking about how our mental health influences everything we do. But the truth is, your emotional and psychological state affects more than just your mood — it shapes your habits, focus, relationships, and even your body.

When mental health is strong, life feels more manageable. You can focus on what matters, stay motivated through challenges, and connect with others in meaningful ways. But when it’s struggling, even small tasks can feel heavy. Understanding how mental health affects everyday life can help you recognize the subtle signs that your system needs care before it leads to burnout or disconnection.

How Mental Health Affects Sleep and Energy

Your mental and physical health are deeply intertwined. When your mind is overwhelmed, your body feels it. Racing thoughts, anxiety, or emotional distress often show up as restless nights or morning fatigue. Over time, poor sleep can make stress harder to manage, creating a frustrating cycle of exhaustion and irritability.

Improving mental health through therapy, mindfulness, and regulation practices can help calm your nervous system — allowing your body to finally rest and restore. When your mind feels safe, your sleep naturally deepens, and your energy levels begin to rebound.

The Connection Between Mental Health, Focus, and Motivation

When mental health is balanced, your brain can focus and think clearly. But when stress or emotional strain builds, the brain’s executive functions — like planning, memory, and concentration — start to slow down. You might find it harder to start tasks, follow through, or feel motivated to do things you normally enjoy.

This doesn’t mean you’re lazy or undisciplined. It means your brain is prioritizing survival over productivity. Therapy helps retrain this response by calming the stress circuits and rebuilding your ability to focus, set goals, and follow through — without constant pressure or guilt.

How Mental Health Shapes Relationships

Your mental health affects how you connect and communicate with others. When you feel emotionally secure, it’s easier to be patient, compassionate, and open in your relationships. You can handle conflict without shutting down or lashing out.

But when you’re anxious, depressed, or emotionally overwhelmed, relationships can feel complicated. You may pull away from people, feel misunderstood, or rely too heavily on others for stability. Building mental wellness strengthens emotional awareness — helping you recognize your needs and communicate them more clearly.

The Impact on Habits and Daily Rhythms

Mental health also influences your routines — the small choices that shape your day. When your mind is balanced, you’re more likely to make healthy decisions: eat nourishing foods, move your body, and take time to rest. But when mental health declines, self-care often feels like one more thing on a long to-do list.

This is where support matters. A counselor can help you rebuild structure gently, using small, achievable habits that support emotional balance. Over time, those tiny changes begin to rewire your brain toward calm and consistency.

Therapies That Restore Clarity and Balance

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we focus on helping clients restore calm and clarity by addressing the mind-body connection directly. Depending on your needs, your therapist might integrate approaches like:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.
• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.
• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.
• IFS Therapy: Builds inner harmony by understanding your different emotional “parts.”
• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.
• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

Each approach strengthens the brain’s ability to shift from survival mode to steady functioning — helping you think clearly, feel connected, and live with greater peace.

Small Shifts Create Big Change

The effects of mental health reach every corner of life — from how you sleep and focus to how you love and lead. When you take steps to care for your mind, everything else begins to fall into place.

If you’ve noticed fatigue, distraction, or emotional heaviness creeping into your daily routine, it may be time to slow down and listen to what your mind and body are telling you. Healing starts with awareness — and it doesn’t have to happen alone.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we support children, teens, and adults throughout Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area, helping each person find clarity, connection, and calm.

Schedule a Consultation → Click Here

Why Mental Health Deserves Just as Much Attention as Physical Health

We’re taught early on to take care of our bodies — eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep. But we rarely talk about the importance of mental health, even though it shapes everything else. Your mental health affects how you think, how you handle stress, how you relate to others, and how you experience the world around you.

When your mind is healthy, you can adapt to change, manage challenges, and maintain meaningful relationships. When it’s neglected, even everyday tasks can start to feel overwhelming. Caring for your mental health isn’t optional — it’s foundational to your overall well-being.

How Mental Health Impacts Physical Health

Your brain and body are constantly in communication. When you’re emotionally stressed or anxious, your nervous system releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. In short bursts, that’s helpful — it prepares you to handle challenges. But when the stress response stays activated for too long, it takes a physical toll: fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, or a weakened immune system.

Supporting your mental health improves how your body functions. Sleep becomes deeper, energy more stable, and recovery faster. Emotional care is physical care.

The Role of Mental Health in Relationships

Strong relationships are built on emotional connection — the ability to listen, empathize, and communicate effectively. When your mental health is steady, you can handle conflict with clarity and express your needs without fear or reactivity.

When it’s strained, relationships can become sources of stress instead of support. You might withdraw, become irritable, or feel misunderstood. Tending to your mental health strengthens your capacity to love and be loved — to connect with others from a place of emotional safety.

Mental Health and Productivity

Good mental health fuels focus, motivation, and creativity. When your emotional energy is balanced, you’re more able to concentrate, make decisions, and follow through on goals. On the other hand, chronic stress or burnout can cause mental fog, irritability, and low motivation.

The healthiest, most productive people aren’t those who push through exhaustion — they’re the ones who know when to rest and reset. Supporting your mental health is one of the most effective ways to protect your performance, not limit it.

Why Long-Term Wellness Depends on Mental Health

Physical wellness can’t be separated from emotional wellness. A healthy diet and regular exercise matter, but they’re most effective when your mental state supports them. Stress can affect your appetite, sleep, hormones, and even how your body processes nutrients.

Long-term health depends on the mind’s ability to regulate — to stay calm enough for the body to heal and function. That’s why caring for your mental health isn’t self-indulgent; it’s preventative medicine.

Therapies That Support Emotional and Physical Balance

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help clients build a foundation of mental health that supports every part of life. Depending on your goals, your counselor may use a blend of:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.
• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.
• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.
• Practice Self-Regulation: Focuses on understanding your body’s signals and restoring calm through breath, grounding, and awareness techniques.
• Solution-Focused Therapy: Encourages progress through small, practical changes that build momentum toward confidence and control.
• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.
• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

Each of these approaches helps calm the nervous system, improve self-awareness, and promote lasting emotional health.

You Can Strengthen Your Mental Health Today

You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to care for your mind. Mental health is something you can strengthen daily — through connection, reflection, rest, and support.

If you’ve been feeling tired, tense, or disconnected, it may be time to slow down and listen to what your mind is asking for. Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy serves children, teens, and adults in Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area, helping each person find balance, clarity, and peace.

Schedule a Consultation → Click Here

The Importance of Mental Health in Everyday Life

When most people think about health, they picture diet, exercise, or sleep — but the importance of mental health is just as vital. Your mind influences every part of your life: how you think, connect, and recover from challenges. Mental health isn’t just about “feeling okay.” It’s about having the internal stability to navigate change, manage emotions, and stay connected to what matters most.

Strong mental health gives you space to pause instead of react, to feel hopeful when life feels uncertain, and to show up authentically in your relationships. It’s what helps you thrive — not just survive.

How Mental Health Impacts Your Physical and Emotional Well-Being

Your brain and body are deeply linked. When your mental health suffers, your body often tells the story first — headaches, tense muscles, trouble sleeping, fatigue, or even digestive issues. Chronic stress or emotional strain keeps your nervous system in “fight or flight,” flooding you with stress hormones that wear down both mood and immunity.

Caring for your mental health improves focus, energy, and even physical healing. It helps your body find safety again, so your nervous system can rest and repair instead of constantly reacting.

How Mental Health Shapes Relationships and Work

The way you relate to others often mirrors how connected you feel to yourself. When you’re emotionally balanced, you’re more patient, empathetic, and confident in setting boundaries. But when your mind feels overwhelmed or dysregulated, relationships can start to feel draining or unpredictable.

In work settings, good mental health supports creativity, focus, and motivation. When it’s neglected, burnout, irritability, or lack of motivation can quickly take over. Recognizing these patterns early is the first step toward restoring balance.

What Happens When Mental Health Is Ignored

Ignoring your mental health doesn’t make problems go away — it often magnifies them. Over time, emotional strain can turn into anxiety, depression, or chronic exhaustion. You might start to feel disconnected from yourself, lose interest in things you used to enjoy, or notice your body breaking down under the stress.

The good news is that mental health is resilient. Just like a muscle, it can grow stronger with care and practice.

Therapies That Support Mental and Emotional Well-Being

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we take an integrative approach to emotional wellness — helping you strengthen your mind, body, and relationships together. Depending on your needs, your counselor may use approaches like:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.
• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.
• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.
• IFS Therapy: Builds inner harmony by understanding your different emotional “parts.”
• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.
• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

These evidence-based methods don’t just manage symptoms — they help rewire how your mind and body respond to life’s challenges, creating lasting change.

How to Strengthen Your Mental Health Daily

Small, consistent choices make a big difference in maintaining emotional balance. Try incorporating these into your daily rhythm:

• Prioritize rest and unplug from screens before bed.

• Practice mindful breathing or grounding for 2–3 minutes each day.

• Build real connections — text less, talk more.

• Move your body gently (walk, stretch, or dance).

• Reflect through journaling or prayer to notice what your emotions are trying to tell you.

Even one intentional choice a day helps shift your nervous system toward stability.

It’s Never Too Late to Care for Your Mind

Your mental health affects every part of your life — your body, your relationships, your energy, and your sense of purpose. The earlier you care for it, the more resilient you become when life feels uncertain.

If you’ve been running on empty or feeling emotionally overwhelmed, you don’t have to do it alone. Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy helps children, teens, and adults in Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Sherrills Ford, Statesville, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area build emotional resilience and experience peace again.

Schedule a Consultation → Click Here

If you missed the first blog in this series, you can read it here.

What Is Mental Health — Really?

We talk about mental health all the time, but what is mental health? The definition of mental health goes far beyond “not feeling anxious or depressed.” Mental health is your overall emotional, psychological, and social well-being — how you think, feel, and relate to yourself and others. It’s what allows you to handle stress, make decisions, and recover when life doesn’t go as planned.

Just like physical health affects your body’s ability to move and heal, your mental health affects your mind’s ability to stay flexible, hopeful, and balanced in the face of change.

Why Mental Health Matters in Everyday Life

When your mental health is strong, daily challenges feel manageable. You bounce back more quickly after disappointment, connect more deeply with others, and feel more motivated to take care of your body.

When it’s neglected, even small things can feel overwhelming — deadlines, conversations, or unexpected changes. You might notice yourself becoming irritable, withdrawn, or mentally exhausted without realizing that your emotional system is running on empty.

Caring for your mental health isn’t about being “positive” all the time. It’s about building the inner capacity to meet life with awareness and stability.

How Mental Health Affects the Brain and Body

Your mind and body are always in conversation. When your mental health is under strain, your body keeps the score — you may feel it through headaches, muscle tension, trouble sleeping, or a racing heart.

Chronic stress or emotional strain activates your body’s survival system, flooding you with cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, that stress response can stay switched on, leading to anxiety, fatigue, or even physical illness.

Supporting your mental health helps regulate this system so your brain can return to a calm, centered state — where rest, clarity, and creativity thrive.

Factors That Shape Mental Health

Mental health is influenced by many interconnected factors, including:

• Biological: genetics, hormones, and neurochemistry

• Psychological: beliefs, coping skills, and early experiences

• Social: family relationships, community support, and culture

• Environmental: stress levels, work conditions, and safety

Understanding these layers helps remove stigma — mental health challenges aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re a reflection of how your whole system responds to life’s pressures.

Therapies That Support Mental Health

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we believe mental health care should be integrative — supporting both the brain and the heart. Depending on your needs, therapy might include:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.

• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.

• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

• Neurofeedback: Trains the brain to self-regulate, improving focus, sleep, and calm by teaching your nervous system what balance feels like.

These approaches don’t just manage mental health —they help your mind and body learn a new rhythm of peace, flexibility, and strength.

You Don’t Have to Struggle Alone

Mental health isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about learning to listen to what your mind and body are trying to tell you. If you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected, or emotionally drained, that’s your system asking for support.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help children, teens, and adults in Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area find balance and healing through personalized, evidence-based care.

Because when your mental health improves, everything else follows — relationships, focus, sleep, energy, and hope.

Schedule a Consultation →  Click Here To Get Started

Understanding recovery, healing timelines, and what helps teens truly get better.

Parents often wonder, “When does teenage depression go away?” The answer isn’t as simple as a calendar date or a set number of therapy sessions—because depression doesn’t disappear on command. For many teens, healing is a gradual process of rediscovering safety, hope, and connection after months or years of carrying emotional pain.

The good news is this: teenage depression does go away, especially when teens get the right support early. With therapy, consistent care, and family understanding, most teens recover fully—learning tools that not only lift depression but strengthen emotional resilience for life.

Understanding When Teenage Depression Goes Away

To answer when does teenage depression go away, it helps to understand that depression isn’t just an emotion—it’s a whole-body experience involving the brain, nervous system, hormones, and environment.

Recovery time varies depending on factors like:

• How long have symptoms been present

• The teen’s support system and family environment

• Whether trauma or anxiety are also present

• How consistently therapy and coping skills are practiced

Some teens start to feel better in a few months; others need more time to rebuild trust, confidence, and motivation. Healing is never linear—and that’s okay.

The Phases of Teen Depression Recovery

1. Relief: The First Signs of Hope

In the early phase of healing, the goal is helping the body and brain come out of “survival mode.”
Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help teens identify patterns of negative thinking and learn to engage differently with their emotions—instead of feeling consumed by them.

During this stage, teens often say things like, “I’m still sad, but I’m not as overwhelmed,” or “I can finally talk about it.” That’s progress, even if full joy hasn’t returned yet.

2. Stabilization: Building Emotional Regulation Skills

Once initial relief begins, therapy shifts to strengthening coping tools and resilience. Teens practice emotional regulation, mindfulness, and self-compassion—learning that feelings don’t have to control them.

Solution-Focused Therapy can be especially effective here. Instead of dwelling on the problem, it helps teens identify what’s already working and build on those small successes. This forward-thinking approach often helps teens regain motivation faster and see that recovery is possible, even in small steps.

Example: A teen might set a goal to get out of bed before 9 a.m. or rejoin a favorite activity once a week. Each step forward rebuilds confidence and emotional stability.

3. Reconnection: Healing Relationships and Identity

Depression isolates, but connection heals. During this phase, therapy often expands to include family communication, friendships, and meaning-making.
Faith Integration Therapy can play an important role here for families who value spirituality—helping teens rediscover hope, purpose, and a sense that they’re not alone in their struggles.

This stage is where many teens begin to feel like themselves again. Energy increases, laughter returns, and their future starts to feel possible.

How Parents Can Support the Healing Process

Parents often ask what they can do while waiting for improvement. Here’s what helps most:

• Be patient. Healing takes time, and recovery isn’t always steady.

• Validate feelings. Avoid trying to fix everything—sometimes empathy is more powerful than advice.

• Encourage small wins. Celebrate progress, no matter how minor it seems.

• Model balance. Let your teen see you managing stress, resting, and staying connected to community or faith.

Even when your teen seems withdrawn, your presence communicates safety. Depression makes connection feel risky, so patience and gentle consistency are key.

How Therapy Helps Depression Go Away

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we tailor each treatment plan to fit the teen’s unique needs—emotional, cognitive, and spiritual.
Different approaches work for different teens:

• CBT and ACT Therapy: Teach awareness of thoughts and actions that reinforce depression, and help teens reconnect to their values and goals.

• Solution-Focused Therapy: Emphasizes hope, progress, and empowerment—helping teens recognize what’s already working.

• Faith Integration: Supports meaning, identity, and spiritual growth for teens who want to include faith in their healing process.

• Play or Art Therapy: Provide creative, nonverbal ways for younger teens to express and process complex feelings.

Together, these approaches help teens rediscover motivation, reconnect with others, and feel safe in their own minds and bodies again.

So, When Does Teenage Depression Go Away?

The honest answer: when connection, safety, and hope return.
With therapy and consistent care, most teens experience significant improvement within three to six months, and ongoing growth beyond that. Healing isn’t instant—but it is absolutely possible.

If your teen is struggling, don’t wait and wonder. Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville—serving Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, Sherrills Ford, Statesville, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area.

We’ll help your teen find their way back to calm, confidence, and joy, one steady step at a time.

Understanding the emotional, cultural, and biological pressures facing today’s teens.

Parents often find themselves asking, “Why is depression so common among teenagers today?” The rise in teen depression over the past decade has been staggering — and it’s not because this generation is weaker or more emotional. The truth is, depression in teenagers often reflects the world they’re growing up in: fast-paced, high-pressure, and disconnected.

Many teens feel like they’re constantly performing — for grades, approval, and even happiness itself. Behind closed doors, they often feel empty, anxious, or overwhelmed. Understanding why depression is so common helps parents respond with compassion instead of frustration — and empowers families to take meaningful steps toward healing.

The Perfect Storm: Why Depression in Teenagers Is Rising

When we look closer, several factors have combined to make depression in teenagers more widespread than ever. These pressures overlap — emotional, social, biological, and digital — creating what many clinicians describe as a “perfect storm.”

1. The Pressure to Succeed

Teenagers today are under constant pressure to achieve.
Between academics, extracurriculars, and social comparison, many live in a near-constant state of stress. The unspoken message is often, “Your value depends on your performance.”

Over time, this creates exhaustion and self-doubt that can develop into depressive symptoms like irritability, apathy, or hopelessness.

What helps: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches teens how to recognize the self-critical thoughts that drive perfectionism and reframe them into healthier, more balanced beliefs. Combining CBT with ACT Therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) helps teens focus on their values and take small, meaningful steps even when life feels heavy.

2. Social Media and the Comparison Trap

It’s impossible to discuss depression in teenagers without talking about social media. While it connects, it also intensifies insecurity.
Teens compare themselves to carefully edited versions of others — leading to self-doubt, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

The constant exposure to curated perfection makes it harder for developing brains to separate image from reality. Over time, self-worth begins to hinge on likes, followers, or validation.

💡 What helps: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) gives teens tools to manage emotional swings and tolerate distress without turning to withdrawal or comparison. Mindfulness — a key part of DBT — helps them step back from digital noise and notice what’s happening inside instead.

3. Emotional Isolation and Loss of Connection

Despite being more “connected” than ever, many teens feel emotionally alone.
They may have hundreds of online friends but still feel unseen in their real lives. When communication at home becomes strained or hurried, teens can internalize the belief that their emotions are too much or unwanted.

That kind of emotional loneliness can quietly grow into depression. Humans are wired for connection; when it’s missing, the body and mind feel unsafe.

What helps: Faith Integration Therapy can help teens reconnect with a deeper sense of meaning, hope, and belonging — especially when they’re questioning identity or purpose. Encouraging spiritual reflection alongside therapy supports resilience and identity development.

4. Hormonal and Brain Changes

Adolescence is a time of profound neurological and hormonal change.
The brain’s emotional center (the amygdala) is highly active, while the prefrontal cortex — responsible for emotional regulation — is still developing.

This imbalance can make stress and rejection feel more intense, and recovery slower. Without tools for emotional regulation, normal ups and downs can evolve into chronic sadness or depression.

What helps: ACT Therapy helps teens accept their emotions instead of fighting them, and CBT provides practical skills for identifying triggers, managing reactions, and cultivating healthier thought patterns.

5. Unprocessed Pain and Trauma

Trauma doesn’t always mean catastrophic events — it can also include bullying, grief, chronic stress, or emotional neglect. Teens who face ongoing distress without support learn to suppress emotions just to keep functioning.

Over time, that emotional shutdown can manifest as fatigue, withdrawal, or apathy.

What helps: Art Therapy offers a safe way for teens to express emotions they can’t yet put into words. Creating art bypasses the verbal filter, allowing pain to surface gently and healing to begin through self-expression and creativity.

Why Awareness Matters

The good news is that teen depression is highly treatable — especially when caught early. But awareness is the first step.
Many parents interpret depression as laziness or rebellion, when it’s really a nervous system signaling distress. Recognizing the emotional roots behind the behavior helps families respond with empathy and patience instead of panic.

How Therapy Helps Teens Recover

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help teens understand what’s happening beneath the surface of their sadness — and guide them toward healing through evidence-based, creative, and faith-informed approaches.

Our therapists use:

• CBT and ACT Therapy to challenge negative thought patterns and strengthen resilience.

• DBT to help teens navigate emotions and improve relationships.

• Faith Integration for those who find strength through spiritual growth.

• Art Therapy and Play Therapy to create safe, expressive spaces for younger clients or those who struggle to talk about emotions.

Each approach helps teens rebuild connection — to themselves, to others, and to hope.

If Your Teen Is Struggling

If your teen seems withdrawn, unmotivated, or overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone — and neither are they. Depression doesn’t define who they are; it simply signals a need for support, rest, and understanding.

Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville, serving Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, and the Lake Norman area.
We’re here to help your teen find stability, purpose, and joy again — one small step at a time.

Understanding why so many teens struggle with sadness, pressure, and disconnection today.

Parents often ask, “What is the leading cause of depression in teenagers?” The truth is, there isn’t one single reason — but there is a common theme that shows up again and again: disconnection.

Today’s teens are growing up in a world that’s louder, faster, and more demanding than ever before. They’re constantly connected online but often feel deeply disconnected in real life — from others, from safety, and sometimes even from themselves. That loss of genuine connection is at the heart of what drives depression for so many adolescents.

Understanding the Leading Cause of Depression in Teenagers

When we talk about the leading cause of depression in teenagers, we’re really talking about how chronic stress, emotional isolation, and internal pressure combine to overwhelm a developing brain.

Teen years are a time of identity formation, social belonging, and increased academic and social demands. When teens feel unseen or unsupported in those struggles, the nervous system goes into protection mode — withdrawing, numbing, or shutting down to survive.

Depression, in many cases, is not weakness or laziness. It’s the brain’s way of saying, “I can’t carry this alone anymore.”

1. The Pressure to Perform and “Be Enough”

Teens today face relentless expectations — from school, sports, social media, and themselves.
Every test, post, or comment feels like a measure of worth.

That perfectionistic pressure leaves many teens feeling trapped between fear of failure and fear of judgment. Over time, that chronic strain can develop into depressive symptoms like exhaustion, irritability, hopelessness, or numbness.

What helps: Creating a home environment where your teen feels loved for who they are — not what they achieve — can help release that internal pressure.

2. Social Media and Comparison Culture

Social media connects teens but also magnifies insecurity. Every scroll becomes a comparison game: looks, popularity, achievements, body image.
When real life doesn’t match the filtered version online, self-esteem plummets.

This constant comparison reinforces the feeling that everyone else is thriving while they’re falling behind. That loneliness and perceived inadequacy are major contributors to teen depression.

What helps: Encourage digital breaks and real-life connection. Even short phone-free windows — like during meals or before bed — can reset the nervous system and remind teens what genuine connection feels like.

3. Emotional Neglect and Family Stress

Another significant factor in the leading cause of depression in teenagers is the absence of emotional attunement — not feeling seen, heard, or validated at home.
Teens may grow up with loving parents who provide for their needs but miss the emotional cues of sadness, fear, or overwhelm.

Chronic emotional loneliness, especially in high-stress or conflict-heavy homes, teaches the brain that it’s safer to shut down emotions than express them. That internal disconnection eventually manifests as depression.

What helps: Listening without fixing. When parents validate emotions — “That sounds really hard” — instead of rushing to solve them, teens start to feel safe opening up again.

4. Trauma and Adverse Experiences

Sometimes, depression roots itself in trauma — bullying, grief, abuse, or witnessing violence.
Even subtle, ongoing stressors like rejection, divorce, or instability can shape a teen’s nervous system, making it hard to feel secure or hopeful.

Traumatic stress overwhelms the developing brain’s ability to regulate emotion. Teens might not talk about it, but their body shows it — through sleep issues, irritability, withdrawal, or sudden emotional shutdowns.

What helps: Trauma-informed therapy like EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps teens reprocess painful memories safely, so their bodies no longer live in “danger mode.”

5. Loss of True Connection

When we piece all these causes together — pressure, comparison, neglect, and trauma — the thread is clear: disconnection is the leading cause of depression in teenagers.
Disconnection from others, from purpose, from self-worth, and from peace.

The opposite of depression isn’t happiness — it’s connection.
When teens begin to feel seen, understood, and accepted, healing begins.

How Therapy Helps Rebuild Connection

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help teens move from disconnection to restoration — emotionally and relationally.

Our approach includes:

• • CBT and ACT Therapy to challenge negative thought patterns and strengthen resilience.

  • DBT to help teens navigate emotions and improve relationships.

  • Faith Integration for those who find strength through spiritual growth.

  • Art Therapy and Play Therapy to create safe, expressive spaces for younger clients or those who struggle to talk about emotions.

Therapy gives teens language for their feelings, safety to express them, and tools to reconnect — first with themselves, then with others.

When to Seek Help

If your teen shows signs of emotional withdrawal, irritability, fatigue, or hopelessness, don’t wait for it to “pass.” Early intervention makes recovery faster and prevents depression from deepening.

Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville, serving Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, and the greater Lake Norman area.
Our therapists specialize in helping teens understand their emotions, build resilience, and rediscover connection — the heart of true healing.

Recognizing the emotional and behavioral signs that go beyond normal moodiness.

Parents often wonder if their teenager’s behavior is “just a phase” — or something more. Between mood swings, attitude, and social withdrawal, it can be hard to tell when to worry. But knowing what teen depression looks like can make all the difference in getting help early.

Depression in teens doesn’t always show up as sadness or tears. It can look like irritability, fatigue, isolation, or even perfectionism. Teens often hide pain behind humor, busyness, or “I’m fine.” The signs are there — just not always where you expect to see them.

Emotional Signs: When Everything Feels Heavy

Teenagers with depression often feel emotions more deeply but have fewer tools to manage them.
Common emotional indicators include:

• Persistent sadness or hopelessness

• Increased irritability or anger outbursts

• Low self-esteem or self-criticism

• Feeling numb, empty, or disconnected

• Loss of interest in activities that once brought joy

If your teen says things like, “I don’t care anymore,” “What’s the point?” or “Everyone’s better off without me,” it’s important to take those words seriously. Depression can distort how they see themselves and their future — even if they appear to be functioning well on the outside.

Behavioral Signs: What You Might Notice Day-to-Day

Beyond emotions, what teen depression looks like often shows up in daily behavior:

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Changes in appetite or eating patterns

• Declining grades or difficulty concentrating

• Avoiding friends, family, or favorite activities

• Irritability during normal requests or conversations

• Spending long hours on screens or isolating in their room

You might notice your teen is constantly tired, withdrawn, or unmotivated — or the opposite, overachieving and perfectionistic. Both can be ways of coping with inner distress.

Physical and Cognitive Symptoms: When Stress Lives in the Body

Depression doesn’t just affect emotions; it also impacts the body and mind.
Teens may experience:

• Frequent headaches or stomachaches

• Fatigue that doesn’t improve with sleep

• Restlessness or difficulty sitting still

• Forgetfulness or mental fog

Because the teenage brain is still developing, emotional stress often shows up through physical symptoms first. When your teen’s body is speaking through pain or exhaustion, it’s a sign they may need emotional support, not just medical care.

Social Signs: When Connection Feels Unsafe

Depression can also affect relationships and social behavior.
You might notice your teen:

• Avoids friends or stops participating in social activities

• Feels overly sensitive to rejection or criticism

• Spends less time with family or becomes defensive

• Seems detached even around people they love

Many teens with depression fear being a burden, so they pull away to protect others — when in reality, connection is exactly what they need most.

Why Teen Depression Often Goes Unnoticed

Teenagers are masters at masking emotions. They may laugh with friends one moment and feel hopeless the next. Sometimes, parents only see irritability — not realizing it’s a cover for deep sadness or shame.

In our fast-paced culture, exhaustion and withdrawal can look like typical adolescence, but they’re often signs that your teen’s nervous system is overwhelmed.
Recognizing what teen depression looks like means paying attention to changes — not just moods, but energy, engagement, and motivation.

How Therapy Helps Teens Heal

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we take a compassionate, whole-person approach to treating teen depression. Therapy gives teens a space to express feelings safely, explore what’s underneath their sadness or anger, and learn tools to regulate emotions.

Our team uses evidence-based methods like:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help reprocess painful experiences or self-beliefs.

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help teens understand their inner parts — the one that feels sad, the one that hides, and the one that tries to stay in control.

• Neurofeedback to calm the brain’s overactive stress patterns and improve mood regulation.

• CBT and ACT Therapy to challenge negative thought patterns and strengthen resilience.

• DBT to help teens navigate emotions and improve relationships.

• Faith Integration for those who find strength through spiritual growth.

• Art Therapy and Play Therapy to create safe, expressive spaces for younger clients or those who struggle to talk about emotions.

When teens feel understood, they begin to see that their emotions aren’t flaws — they’re signals that healing is needed and possible.

Taking the First Step

If you’ve noticed changes in your teen’s mood, motivation, or energy, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent — it means your child needs support, not pressure.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville, serving Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area. Our therapists specialize in helping teens move from isolation and overwhelm to confidence, connection, and calm.

Understanding chronic psychological stress — the “silent normal” of modern life.

If you’ve ever felt like stress is just a normal part of life, you’re not alone. In today’s world, we’re constantly connected, constantly striving, and rarely resting. The most common type of stress we face isn’t from one big event — it’s from the steady, ongoing pressure of everyday life.

This kind of stress doesn’t always feel dramatic or urgent. It creeps in quietly — through full calendars, constant notifications, financial tension, and the endless need to keep up. Over time, it becomes so familiar that we stop noticing it altogether. But our bodies still do.

What Is the Most Common Type of Stress?

The most common type of stress is called chronic psychological stress.
It’s the kind that lingers long after the immediate problem has passed. Instead of spiking and resolving, your body stays in a low-grade state of “fight or flight” — always ready, never relaxed.

This can come from:

• Work demands that never stop

• Family or relationship strain

• Health challenges

• Financial pressure

• Perfectionism or constant self-criticism

• Too many responsibilities and too little rest

Your body’s stress response system — designed for short bursts of danger — wasn’t meant to stay on forever. When it does, the result is physical exhaustion, emotional numbness, and eventually, burnout.

How Chronic Stress Becomes the “New Normal”

Modern life rewards productivity and independence. We tell ourselves that feeling overwhelmed is just what it means to be successful, responsible, or strong.
But living in chronic stress slowly rewires the brain and body.

Here’s what happens when that state becomes your baseline:

• The brain starts releasing cortisol and adrenaline more frequently, keeping you alert even at rest.

• The body begins to interpret small frustrations (like traffic or email) as big threats.

• The emotions flatten — joy, motivation, and connection fade under the constant weight of “doing.”

Over time, your nervous system forgets how to relax. Calm starts to feel uncomfortable. And because everyone around you seems just as stressed, it feels normal.

The Hidden Costs of Chronic Stress

Even though chronic stress feels invisible, it affects nearly every system in the body:

• Sleep: Difficulty falling or staying asleep

• Digestion: Stomach issues, IBS, or loss of appetite

• Immune Function: More frequent illness or inflammation

• Hormones: Imbalance leading to fatigue or mood swings

• Emotions: Irritability, anxiety, or emotional disconnection

If you find yourself saying, “I’m just tired all the time,” or “I feel like I’m running on empty,” you’re likely living in a state of chronic stress your body was never designed to maintain.

Why It’s So Hard to Break the Cycle

The most common type of stress is hard to break because it’s reinforced by habit and culture. When you’ve been living in survival mode for a long time, the idea of slowing down can actually feel unsafe.

You may tell yourself:

• “Everyone feels this way.”

• “If I slow down, everything will fall apart.”

• “I’ll rest when things calm down.”

But things rarely calm down on their own. The nervous system needs help learning what safety feels like again. That’s where therapy and regulation tools come in.

How Therapy Helps Reset a Stressed Nervous System

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help clients work with their nervous systems, not against them. Each person’s stress response is unique, so we draw from multiple therapy approaches to create personalized care:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.

• Practice Self-Regulation: Focuses on understanding your body’s signals and restoring calm through breath, grounding, and awareness techniques.

• Solution-Focused Therapy: Encourages progress through small, practical changes that build momentum toward confidence and control.

• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.

• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

• Neurofeedback: Trains the brain to self-regulate, improving focus, sleep, and calm by teaching your nervous system what balance feels like.

These approaches don’t just manage stress—they help your mind and body learn a new rhythm of peace, flexibility, and strength.

Finding Balance Again

Breaking free from the most common type of stress doesn’t mean quitting your job or escaping responsibility. It means learning to live differently within your life — responding to challenges without losing yourself in them.

You can live at a different pace — one where your body feels safe, your mind feels clear, and your emotions feel steady again.

Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville, serving Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, and the Lake Norman area, to begin your journey toward lasting balance and peace.

Types of Stress: Understanding the differences between acute, episodic acute, chronic, and traumatic stress — and how to heal from each.

Most people use the word stress to describe anything that feels difficult or overwhelming — but not all stress is the same. The types of stress you experience affect your body, mind, and emotions in very different ways. Some stress motivates you to take action, while other kinds quietly wear you down over time.

When you understand which type of stress your body is carrying, you can start to respond to it more effectively — instead of just pushing through and wondering why you still feel exhausted or anxious.

1. Acute Stress: The Body’s Short-Term Alarm

Acute stress is your body’s immediate response to a specific event or challenge.
It’s the jolt you feel when a car swerves in front of you, when you’re about to give a big presentation, or when your child yells from another room.

Your heart races, your muscles tense, and adrenaline surges — all to help you handle the situation. Once it’s over, your body returns to baseline and you feel relief.

Acute stress isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, it can boost focus, energy, and motivation. The key is giving your body time to fully recover afterward.
Simple grounding, deep breathing, or a short walk can help signal to your brain that the danger has passed.

2. Episodic Acute Stress: When Life Feels Like One Crisis After Another

If you seem to move from one stressful situation to the next without a break, you may be dealing with episodic acute stress.
This type often affects people with demanding jobs, perfectionistic tendencies, or chaotic schedules — anyone whose life feels like it’s always urgent.

Over time, the body and mind never get the signal to rest. You may start to notice headaches, irritability, forgetfulness, or trouble sleeping.
You might even say things like, “I just can’t catch a break.”

Healing tip: Creating small pockets of rest throughout the day — even five minutes of intentional breathing or stretching — helps reset your nervous system. Over time, therapy can also teach you how to replace the “constant fire drill” feeling with steadier rhythms of calm.

3. Chronic Stress: When Survival Mode Becomes a Lifestyle

Chronic stress is the most common and damaging of all the types of stress. It happens when pressure or emotional strain never truly ends — such as financial struggles, health issues, caregiving responsibilities, or unresolved relationship tension.

In chronic stress, your nervous system stays stuck in fight-or-flight for weeks, months, or even years. Cortisol levels remain high, sleep becomes disrupted, and the immune system weakens. Emotionally, you might feel numb, hopeless, or easily overwhelmed.

Healing tip: The first step is awareness — realizing that your constant tension isn’t normal, it’s habitual.
Therapies like neurofeedback can teach your brain how to downshift from stress mode, while EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) help your mind process the emotional roots of long-term stress.

4. Traumatic Stress: When the Past Still Feels Present

Traumatic stress occurs when you experience or witness something that overwhelms your ability to cope — such as an accident, assault, natural disaster, or ongoing abuse.
Unlike other types of stress, this one can reshape how your brain and body interpret safety.

Even when the danger is over, reminders of the event can trigger intense fear, panic, or physical reactions. The body continues to respond as if the threat is happening now.

Healing tip: Trauma recovery requires a sense of safety first. Approaches like EMDR help the brain reprocess memories so they’re stored as the past rather than relived in the present. IFS therapy and neurofeedback further support emotional regulation and body-based healing, helping clients rebuild a sense of calm and trust.

Why Understanding the Types of Stress Matters

Not all stress needs the same solution. Knowing which of the types of stress you’re experiencing allows you to choose the right strategies — whether it’s relaxation, therapy, nervous system retraining, or deeper trauma work.

Stress isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s your body’s way of saying, “Something needs attention.” Once you understand what kind of stress you’re dealing with, you can finally give your body and mind what they’ve been asking for: rest, regulation, and recovery.

Finding Support for Stress and Healing

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help clients work with their nervous systems, not against them. Each person’s stress response is unique, so we draw from multiple therapy approaches to create personalized care:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.

• Practice Self-Regulation: Focuses on understanding your body’s signals and restoring calm through breath, grounding, and awareness techniques.

• Solution-Focused Therapy: Encourages progress through small, practical changes that build momentum toward confidence and control.

• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.

• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

• Neurofeedback: Trains the brain to self-regulate, improving focus, sleep, and calm by teaching your nervous system what balance feels like.

These approaches don’t just manage stress—they help your mind and body learn a new rhythm of peace, flexibility, and strength.

If you’re tired of living in constant stress mode, reach out today.
Our team serves Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, and the greater Lake Norman area — both in person and through secure telehealth sessions.

Learn how to tell when normal stress crosses the line — and what your body is trying to tell you.

Everyone experiences stress, but when is stress too much? It’s a question many people ask after realizing they can’t bounce back as easily as they used to. What once felt like healthy pressure now feels like exhaustion, irritability, or even apathy. You may tell yourself you just need a weekend off — but sometimes rest doesn’t fix it.

That’s because when stress becomes constant, your body and brain stop recovering between challenges. The result isn’t just mental fatigue — it’s burnout.

Healthy Stress vs. Harmful Stress

A certain amount of stress is normal, even helpful. It motivates you to meet deadlines, care for your family, and show up for what matters.
But when there’s no pause between pressures — when your nervous system never gets the “all clear” signal — that helpful energy turns toxic.

Healthy stress (“eustress”) helps you grow. Harmful stress (“distress”) leaves you drained.

Here’s the difference:

When distress becomes your baseline, that’s your body’s way of saying: This is too much.

When Is Stress Too Much? Five Warning Signs of Burnout

If you’ve been wondering when stress becomes too much, watch for these signs that your system is stuck in overdrive:

1. You Feel Constantly Exhausted

Even after sleep or downtime, you still feel tired. Your body isn’t just physically drained — it’s emotionally depleted. Chronic stress floods your system with cortisol, which disrupts your energy balance and weakens immunity.

2. Your Motivation Has Disappeared

Tasks that once excited you now feel heavy or meaningless. Burnout dulls your drive because your brain has been operating in “survival mode” for too long.

3. You’re More Irritable or Withdrawn

You might snap easily or avoid people altogether. When stress hormones stay high, the emotional centers of your brain (like the amygdala) become overactive, and connection starts to feel like another demand.

4. You Struggle to Make Simple Decisions

Decision fatigue is a real symptom of chronic stress. When your brain is overloaded, even small choices — like what to cook or when to reply to a message — feel overwhelming.

5. You Can’t Relax, Even When You Try

When the nervous system is overstimulated, rest feels impossible. Your body has forgotten what calm feels like. You might lie down but still feel wired inside, as if waiting for the next crisis.

Why “Just Pushing Through” Doesn’t Work

If your default response is to power through or stay productive, you’re not alone.
Our culture often praises busyness and labels rest as laziness. But ignoring the body’s stress signals only deepens burnout.

When stress goes unchecked, the brain and body adapt to constant tension. This can lead to:

• Digestive issues

• Sleep disturbances

• Muscle pain or migraines

• Anxiety, irritability, or hopelessness

• Trouble focusing or remembering

These aren’t signs of weakness — they’re signs of overload.

How Therapy Helps You Recover from Too Much Stress

Healing from burnout isn’t about eliminating stress entirely — it’s about helping your nervous system recover between demands.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help clients work with their nervous systems, not against them. Each person’s stress response is unique, so we draw from multiple therapy approaches to create personalized care:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.

• Practice Self-Regulation: Focuses on understanding your body’s signals and restoring calm through breath, grounding, and awareness techniques.

• Solution-Focused Therapy: Encourages progress through small, practical changes that build momentum toward confidence and control.

• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.

• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

• Neurofeedback: Trains the brain to self-regulate, improving focus, sleep, and calm by teaching your nervous system what balance feels like.

These approaches don’t just manage stress—they help your mind and body learn a new rhythm of peace, flexibility, and strength.

When Is Stress Too Much? When It Stops Feeling Like You

If you’ve noticed yourself becoming someone you barely recognize — more reactive, more tired, more disconnected — that’s your sign.
Your body is telling you it’s time to slow down and listen.

You don’t have to live in constant overload.
Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville — serving Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the Lake Norman area — to learn how therapy can help you recover your peace, energy, and clarity.

Definition of Stress: Understanding what stress really is — and how it affects your body, mind, and emotions.

Everyone says they’re “stressed,” but few people stop to ask what that really means. The definition of stress goes far beyond feeling worried or overwhelmed — it’s your body’s built-in alarm system, designed to protect you when life feels uncertain or demanding.

When life feels unpredictable or demanding, your brain sends a signal to your body that says, “Get ready — something might go wrong.” Your heart rate rises, muscles tighten, and adrenaline kicks in. This is called the stress response — your body’s way of preparing to handle a challenge.

That reaction can help you meet a deadline or jump out of the way of danger. But when the alarm never shuts off, chronic stress begins to take a toll on your health, mood, and relationships. Understanding the true definition of stress helps you recognize when that system is stuck in overdrive — and how to calm it.

The Real Definition of Stress

At its core, stress is the body’s physical and psychological response to any perceived threat or demand.
The keyword there is perceived. Your body doesn’t know the difference between a real emergency and a mental one — like replaying a tough conversation or worrying about the future.

That’s why even “small” stressors can add up over time. They keep the nervous system activated long after the moment has passed, which can lead to fatigue, irritability, brain fog, and even illness.

How Stress Works in the Brain and Body

When you sense danger or pressure, your brain’s amygdala sounds the alarm. The hypothalamus then activates the fight-flight-freeze response, releasing cortisol and adrenaline.

Your heart beats faster, your breathing changes, and blood flows away from digestion toward muscles — all so you can respond quickly.
Once the stressor ends, your parasympathetic system should turn the alarm off.

But if life feels like a constant uphill climb — juggling work, relationships, finances, or health — your brain may keep you in survival mode even when you’re safe. That’s when stress stops being helpful and starts becoming harmful.

The Two Faces of Stress: Helpful and Harmful

Not all stress is bad. In fact, short bursts of stress can help you focus and grow.

• Acute stress is brief and situational — like preparing for an interview or giving a presentation.

• Chronic stress lingers when demands never let up — caregiving, financial strain, emotional neglect, or an unhealthy workplace.

Helpful stress (called eustress) motivates action. Harmful stress (called distress) wears down your immune system, sleep, and emotional balance.
The key is learning to notice when your stress response stops serving you.

Common Signs You’re Living in Stress Mode

• Feeling tense or restless most of the day

• Difficulty sleeping or relaxing

• Racing thoughts or mental fog

• Mood swings or irritability

• Muscle pain, headaches, or digestive issues

• Feeling detached, anxious, or emotionally numb

These symptoms aren’t just in your head — they’re signals from your body saying, “I’ve been in survival mode too long.”

Why Understanding the Definition of Stress Matters

When you understand what stress really is, you can respond with compassion instead of frustration. You stop blaming yourself for being “too sensitive” or “not strong enough” and begin to see your body’s reactions as messages, not malfunctions.

How Therapy Helps You Work With Stress — Not Against It

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help clients work with their nervous systems, not against them. Each person’s stress response is unique, so we draw from multiple therapy approaches to create personalized care:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps identify negative thought loops and replace them with realistic, balanced perspectives.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Teaches mindfulness and helps you take values-based action even when stress is present.

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Builds emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills for moments when stress feels unmanageable.

• Practice Self-Regulation: Focuses on understanding your body’s signals and restoring calm through breath, grounding, and awareness techniques.

• Solution-Focused Therapy: Encourages progress through small, practical changes that build momentum toward confidence and control.

• Faith Integration: Invites meaning, purpose, and spiritual grounding into the healing process for those who want to include their faith journey.

• EMDR and IFS-Informed Therapy: Address deeper emotional or trauma-based stress by helping the brain and body reprocess overwhelming experiences.

• Neurofeedback: Trains the brain to self-regulate, improving focus, sleep, and calm by teaching your nervous system what balance feels like.

These approaches don’t just manage stress—they help your mind and body learn a new rhythm of peace, flexibility, and strength.

From Surviving to Regulating

You can’t eliminate stress completely — but you can train your brain and body to recover faster. Healing begins when your nervous system learns it’s safe to rest again.

If you’re feeling stuck in survival mode, we’re here to help.
Reach out to Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville, serving Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, and the greater Lake Norman area — in person and through telehealth.

Understanding your trauma type helps guide the right approach to recovery.

When people think about trauma, they often imagine major life events like accidents or abuse. But the truth is, there are several types of trauma, and they don’t all look the same. What matters most isn’t the event itself, but how your nervous system experienced and stored it.

For some, trauma comes from a single shocking event. For others, it’s a slow, invisible buildup of emotional pain that’s been carried for years. And while the effects can look different for everyone, understanding the four main types of trauma can help you make sense of your story — and choose the right kind of healing.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, I often tell clients: “The way trauma happened matters, because it helps us know how to help you heal.”

1. Physical Trauma: When the Body Holds the Memory

Physical trauma happens when the body is injured or endangered — from car accidents and medical procedures to assaults or serious illness.
Even after the body heals, the nervous system may stay in alert mode, replaying sensations of fear, pain, or helplessness.

You might notice lingering tension, chronic pain, or anxiety when you return to a place or sound that reminds you of the event.
Your body remembers what the mind can’t always put into words.

How healing happens:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps reprocess those stored sensory memories so they lose their emotional charge.

• Neurofeedback calms the body’s stress circuits, teaching the brain it no longer needs to stay on high alert.

When the body begins to feel safe again, the mind can follow.

2. Emotional or Psychological Trauma: When the Heart Feels Unsafe

Not all trauma leaves visible scars. Emotional trauma stems from experiences that overwhelm your ability to cope — such as betrayal, rejection, emotional neglect, or verbal abuse.

It can happen in a single painful event or slowly over time in relationships where love and safety should have existed. You may grow up believing you’re “too much,” “not enough,” or that love must be earned.

How healing happens:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) is especially helpful here. It helps you meet the “parts” of yourself that learned to protect you — the perfectionist, the pleaser, the one who shuts down — with compassion instead of shame.

• EMDR can help reprocess painful memories so they no longer define your worth.

Healing emotional trauma means learning that you no longer have to guard your heart so tightly — love and safety can coexist again.

3. Developmental Trauma: When Safety Never Fully Formed

Developmental trauma occurs in childhood, when the brain and sense of self are still developing.
It’s not just about what was done to you — it’s also about what was missing: consistent love, protection, attunement, or emotional presence.

When a child grows up in an unpredictable environment, their brain wires for survival instead of connection. As adults, that can look like people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, emotional numbing, or chronic anxiety.

How healing happens:

• IFS and attachment-based therapies help rebuild a secure internal sense of safety — the one you didn’t get early on.

• EMDR can help reprocess specific memories of fear or rejection.

• Neurofeedback helps the nervous system unlearn the constant “on edge” state that often comes from early chaos.

Healing developmental trauma is slow, sacred work — but it’s where the deepest transformation often happens.

4. Secondary or Vicarious Trauma: When You Absorb Others’ Pain

If you’re a caregiver, therapist, first responder, teacher, nurse, or even a deeply empathetic friend, you may experience vicarious trauma — the emotional residue that comes from witnessing or carrying someone else’s pain.

Your body might respond as if it happened to you. You may feel drained, detached, or emotionally heavy, without realizing your empathy has quietly turned into exhaustion.

How healing happens:

• Learning nervous system regulation tools (like breathwork, grounding, and mindfulness) helps release what’s not yours.

• EMDR or IFS can help separate your pain from others’ pain and restore healthy boundaries.

• Neurofeedback can rebalance brainwave activity, helping you return to calm presence and compassion without burnout.

Healing from secondary trauma allows helpers to keep their empathy without losing themselves.

Why the Type of Trauma Matters in Healing

Not all trauma is processed the same way — because not all trauma happens the same way.
When we understand what kind of wound we carry, we can choose the tools that best fit the healing process.

For example:

• A body-based approach like neurofeedback or somatic EMDR might be essential when your body won’t stop bracing for danger.

• An attachment-focused approach like IFS helps rebuild trust, compassion, and emotional safety after relational wounds.

• Mind-body integration techniques help bridge what you know with what you feel, creating lasting change instead of temporary relief.

Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all — it’s personal, layered, and deeply human.

Your Story Deserves the Right Kind of Healing

Whether your trauma came through your body, your emotions, your early years, or through caring for others — it deserves attention and care.
You don’t have to keep surviving on autopilot.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help clients understand how trauma lives in the brain and body, and we tailor treatment using EMDR, IFS, and neurofeedback so healing fits you.

If you’re ready to begin your own healing journey, reach out today to schedule a consultation.

Serving Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area with in-person and telehealth therapy.

Recognizing emotional and physical symptoms that tell your body and mind something deeper is going on.

When you’ve been through something hard, it’s not always easy to recognize the signs of trauma. You might just think you’re stressed, emotional, or not yourself lately. But trauma doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or flashbacks. Sometimes, it speaks softly — through your body, your mood, and your relationships — quietly signaling that something deeper needs healing.

Understanding the five common signs of trauma can help you notice what your nervous system has been trying to tell you all along: something hurt, and it still needs care.

1. Emotional Reactivity — Feeling “Too Much” or “Nothing at All”

One of the clearest signs of trauma is how your emotions respond to stress.
You might find yourself crying easily, snapping at small things, or feeling waves of sadness or fear you can’t explain.

On the other hand, you may feel numb — detached from joy, love, or motivation. This “shut down” mode is your brain’s way of protecting you from pain. It’s not a character flaw; it’s survival.

If you often think, “I don’t know why I react this way,” or “I can’t feel anything anymore,” your nervous system may still be in defense mode from past overwhelm.

2. Hypervigilance and Anxiety — Always on Alert

Trauma teaches your brain that danger could strike at any moment. Even when life feels safe, your body might not believe it yet.
You may notice you’re easily startled, constantly scanning your environment, or have racing thoughts about what could go wrong.

This is called hypervigilance, and it keeps your body stuck in “fight or flight.”
Physically, you might experience muscle tension, a pounding heart, restlessness, or difficulty sleeping.

It’s exhausting to live like this — and it’s not something you can just “think” your way out of. Healing involves helping your body feel safe again, not just knowing you are.

3. Avoidance — Steering Clear of People, Places, or Feelings

Avoidance is a subtle but powerful sign of trauma. You might avoid certain places, conversations, or memories that remind you of what happened.
Sometimes the avoidance is emotional — staying busy, using humor, or numbing through food, work, or social media to not feel too much.

Avoidance gives short-term relief, but long-term, it reinforces fear.
Part of healing is gently facing what’s been avoided, at a pace your system can handle, so your brain can finally file those memories away as past, not present danger.

4. Changes in Relationships — Pulling Away or Clinging Too Tight

Trauma doesn’t just live inside of us — it changes how we connect with others.
Some people withdraw, feeling safer alone than risking rejection. Others may become overly dependent or anxious in relationships, fearing abandonment.

You might notice you don’t trust easily, struggle with setting boundaries, or feel triggered by closeness.
These patterns aren’t random — they’re attachment responses shaped by pain and protection.

Healing trauma often means relearning safety in connection — discovering that closeness can exist without fear and that independence doesn’t mean isolation.

5. Physical Symptoms — When the Body Keeps the Score

Unresolved trauma often speaks through the body.
Chronic fatigue, headaches, stomach issues, tight muscles, and even autoimmune symptoms can all reflect how your nervous system has been overworking.

You might feel “wired and tired,” have trouble sleeping, or experience unexplained aches.
This doesn’t mean it’s all in your head — it means your mind and body are deeply connected.

When trauma isn’t processed, the stress response stays active.
Somatic therapies, EMDR, and neurofeedback can help restore that connection, calming both mind and body so you can feel present again.

You Don’t Have to Stay in Survival Mode

If you see yourself in any of these signs, take heart — it means your system is trying to protect you, not betray you.
The same mechanisms that once kept you safe can, with the right support, help you heal.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we use a range of trauma-informed approaches designed to meet you where you are:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps the brain reprocess painful memories so they no longer trigger the same distress response.

• IFS-Informed Therapy (Internal Family Systems): Guides you in understanding and healing the inner parts of yourself that carry pain or protection.

• CBT and ACT Therapy: Help you identify thought patterns that reinforce fear or shame, while developing new ways to live aligned with your values.

• DBT and Practice Self-Regulation: Teach mindfulness and emotional stability when stress or triggers arise.

• Faith Integration: Invites spiritual connection and meaning-making into the healing process for those who desire it.

• Art and Play Therapy: Allow both children and adults to express what words can’t, bringing emotional release through creativity and movement.

• Solution-Focused and Narrative Therapy: Shift the story from “what happened to me” toward “how I’m growing through it,” emphasizing agency and hope.

These approaches work together to calm the body’s stress response, integrate painful memories, and help clients experience peace in real time—not just in theory.

Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past — it means reclaiming your life, your relationships, and your sense of calm.

If you notice any of these signs of trauma in yourself…

You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Reach out today to learn how trauma therapy can help you move from survival to restoration.

Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy — serving Mooresville, Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville, and the greater Lake Norman area with in-person and telehealth appointments.

Understanding acute, chronic, and complex trauma — and the difference between “Big T” and “little t” experiences.

When most people think about trauma, they picture the big moments — accidents, abuse, or devastating losses. But the truth is, several types of trauma show up in many forms. Some are sudden and overwhelming, while others build slowly over time. And while one person might seem to “move on” quickly, another may feel the effects for years.

If you’ve ever wondered why some experiences leave such a deep mark while others fade, understanding the types of trauma can help you make sense of your own story.

1. Acute Trauma: The Shock of a Single Event

Acute trauma happens when something distressing occurs suddenly — like a car accident, natural disaster, assault, or medical emergency. It’s often a single, time-limited event that overwhelms your ability to cope in the moment.

Afterward, your body and brain may stay in survival mode, replaying what happened or reacting to reminders of it. You might feel jumpy, have trouble sleeping, or find yourself avoiding anything that brings back the memory.

For many people, therapy and support help the nervous system come down from that alarm state so the mind can start to process and integrate what happened.

2. Chronic Trauma: When Stress Becomes a Way of Life

Chronic trauma develops when distress isn’t just a one-time event — it’s ongoing. This could mean living in a home where there’s constant conflict, neglect, or emotional instability. It might look like growing up with a parent who struggles with addiction, being bullied for years, or enduring long-term illness or poverty.

Over time, the nervous system adapts to constant stress. You might stop noticing how on-edge you are, yet feel exhausted, irritable, or disconnected from yourself.

Chronic trauma teaches the body that safety is unpredictable — and that belief can quietly shape how you view relationships, work, and even your own worth.

3. Complex Trauma: When Wounds Layer Over Time

Complex trauma often develops from repeated exposure to distressing situations, especially in childhood, when the brain and sense of self are still forming.
It can involve multiple experiences of betrayal, neglect, or abuse by caregivers or trusted figures.

Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma changes how a person experiences relationships and themselves. It can lead to struggles with trust, identity, boundaries, and emotional regulation.

Many adults with complex trauma don’t recognize it right away — they just know they feel different, like they’re always bracing for something bad to happen, even in safe environments. Healing often requires not only processing the memories but rebuilding a felt sense of safety, belonging, and self-compassion.

Big “T” and Little “t” Types of Trauma: Why Every Wound Matters

Another helpful way to think about trauma is through the lens of “Big T” and “little t” experiences.

• Big T Trauma refers to events that are clearly overwhelming or life-threatening — physical assault, sexual violence, serious accidents, or natural disasters. These are often what people first associate with PTSD.

• little t trauma involves experiences that may not seem catastrophic from the outside but still impact your sense of safety or worth.
  Examples include being criticized by a parent, going through a painful breakup, moving frequently, or feeling unseen at home.

The difference isn’t about the size of the event — it’s about the emotional impact and how your nervous system experienced it.
A child who grows up feeling unseen can carry wounds just as deep as someone who faced a single major crisis.

You Can’t Compare Pain — But You Can Begin to Heal

No two people experience trauma the same way. What overwhelms one person might not overwhelm another, and that’s not a sign of weakness — it’s simply how our brains and bodies respond to threat and safety.

The good news is: healing is possible at every level. Whether your pain comes from a “Big T,” a “little t,” or years of chronic stress, your nervous system can learn new patterns of calm and connection.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we use approaches like EMDR, Internal Family Systems, and neurofeedback to help clients understand their nervous systems, reprocess traumatic memories, and restore balance in body and mind. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened — it means reclaiming your peace, your relationships, and your sense of self.

If this resonates with you…

You’re not alone, and your story matters.
Whether your trauma is recent or buried deep in the past, you can take the first step toward healing by reaching out for a consultation.

Learn more about trauma therapy at Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy — serving Mooresville, Troutman, Cornelius, Davidson, and the greater Lake Norman area — and begin finding safety in your own skin again.

What Qualifies as Trauma? Understanding the Spectrum of Emotional Wounds

Most people think of trauma as the really big stuff — the accidents, assaults, sudden losses, or moments that make the world stop. And yes, those experiences absolutely are trauma. But there’s another side of trauma that’s easier to miss — the quiet, everyday wounds that leave just as deep of a mark, even if no one else sees them.

You might not call what you went through “trauma.” Maybe it was growing up with emotionally distant parents, always feeling like you had to earn love. Maybe it was a teacher’s harsh words that shaped how you see your worth. Or years of walking on eggshells around someone you loved because you never knew what version of them you’d get that day.

These experiences don’t always look dramatic from the outside. But inside? They change everything.

The Spectrum of Emotional Wounds

Trauma isn’t defined by what happened — it’s defined by how it affected you.
It’s the internal imprint left when something overwhelms your ability to cope.

On one end of the spectrum are what therapists call “Big T” traumas — life-threatening or shocking events that flood the nervous system and often lead to PTSD symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, or hypervigilance.

On the other end are “Little t” traumas — experiences that might seem “normal” or “not that bad” but still leave a lasting emotional bruise. These can be things like chronic criticism, being left out, ongoing stress, or growing up without consistent emotional support.

The brain doesn’t rank trauma by event size. It responds based on perceived threat and lack of safety — and it remembers.

When Connection Becomes Uncertain

Relational trauma often flies under the radar because it happens in the context of everyday life. Children are wired to need consistent connection — eye contact, soothing voices, and a felt sense that “someone sees me and I’m safe.” When that connection is unreliable, the nervous system learns to adapt: by over-performing, shutting down, or scanning constantly for danger.

As adults, these early adaptations can look like:

• Trouble trusting others or relaxing in relationships

• Feeling like you have to be “the strong one” all the time

• Anxiety that spikes when someone pulls away

• A deep sense that you’re too much or not enough

It’s not weakness. It’s the body doing exactly what it was designed to do — protect you.

Your Body Remembers What the Mind Tries to Forget

One of the most profound truths about trauma is that it lives in the body.
Even if you’ve told yourself to “get over it,” the nervous system may still be on alert—waiting for the next shoe to drop.
You might notice it as tightness in your chest, headaches that come out of nowhere, digestive issues, or fatigue that never seems to lift.

That’s why healing isn’t just about talking. It’s about retraining the nervous system to feel safe again and reconnecting the mind, body, and emotions in ways that restore balance.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we use a range of trauma-informed approaches designed to meet you where you are:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps the brain reprocess painful memories so they no longer trigger the same distress response.

• IFS-Informed Therapy (Internal Family Systems): Guides you in understanding and healing the inner parts of yourself that carry pain or protection.

• CBT and ACT Therapy: Help you identify thought patterns that reinforce fear or shame, while developing new ways to live aligned with your values.

• DBT and Practice Self-Regulation: Teach mindfulness and emotional stability when stress or triggers arise.

• Faith Integration: Invites spiritual connection and meaning-making into the healing process for those who desire it.

• Art and Play Therapy: Allow both children and adults to express what words can’t, bringing emotional release through creativity and movement.

• Solution-Focused and Narrative Therapy: Shift the story from “what happened to me” toward “how I’m growing through it,” emphasizing agency and hope.

These approaches work together to calm the body’s stress response, integrate painful memories, and help clients experience peace in real time—not just in theory.

You Don’t Have to Compare Pain

Many people delay getting help because they think their story “doesn’t count.”
But pain doesn’t need permission to matter. If something from your past still shapes how you think, feel, or relate — it’s worth tending to.

You don’t need a diagnosis or a dramatic story to begin healing. You just need the courage to say, “Something in me still hurts,” and let someone walk with you through it.

Healing Is Possible

Trauma recovery isn’t about erasing memories — it’s about helping your mind and body learn that you’re safe now. It’s about reconnecting to joy, peace, and the ability to rest in relationships without fear.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, our team helps children, teens, and adults heal from both the visible and invisible forms of trauma — offering tools that rewire the brain and restore connection.

If you’re ready to understand your story and experience healing that lasts, we’d be honored to walk with you.

Schedule a Consultation →

Trauma: Understanding how the mind, body, and heart experience what happens to us

When most people hear the word trauma, they think of something catastrophic — an accident, abuse, or war. But trauma isn’t defined by the event itself. It’s defined by what happens inside of us because of that event — how our nervous system responds, how we make sense of what happened, and how it changes the way we experience the world.

As a trauma therapist, I’ve met countless people who say, “I don’t think I’ve had trauma — nothing terrible has happened to me.” Yet as we begin talking, their stories reveal years of walking on eggshells, emotional neglect, or chronic stress that has left them anxious, disconnected, or numb. That’s trauma too — it just doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside.

The True Definition of Trauma

Psychologically, trauma is a wound.
The word itself comes from the Greek traûma, meaning “injury.” When the body is hurt, it bleeds. When the mind is hurt, it often hides.

Trauma happens when something overwhelms our ability to cope, leaving us feeling powerless, unsafe, or alone. It’s not the intensity of the event alone that determines trauma — it’s our capacity to process it and the support we have afterward.

For example:

• A child who falls off a bike and is immediately comforted by a caring parent may remember the fall but recover emotionally.

• A child who falls, is laughed at, or left alone to cry may not only remember the fall but internalize a belief: “No one helps me when I’m hurt.”

Both children experienced the same event — but only one experienced trauma.

The Three Faces of Trauma: Psychological, Emotional, and Physical

1. Psychological Trauma
   This is the mental impact — intrusive thoughts, nightmares, or hypervigilance. You might find yourself replaying what happened or avoiding reminders of it.

2. Emotional Trauma
   Emotional trauma lives in the heart — it’s the ache of betrayal, rejection, or constant criticism. It can create patterns of people-pleasing, emotional shutdown, or a deep fear of conflict.

3. Physical Trauma
   Our bodies carry stories our minds can’t always speak. Tight muscles, digestive issues, headaches, or fatigue can all be remnants of unprocessed trauma. The nervous system remembers even when we don’t.

This is why trauma work isn’t just about “talking it out.” It’s about helping the brain and body reconnect, calm, and feel safe again.

A Simple Example

Think about your phone when it’s overloaded — too many apps open, battery draining, nothing responding. Trauma is like that for the nervous system. When something overwhelms it, the system crashes. You may still function, but not at full capacity.

Healing means helping the body reboot — slowly, safely, with guidance and support.

Trauma Is Personal, Not Performative

Two people can live through the same experience and walk away with very different scars. What feels life-shattering to one person might be manageable to another — and that’s okay.

Trauma doesn’t need to be compared or minimized. It deserves to be seen, named, and healed.

Why Understanding Trauma Matters

When we recognize that trauma is not only the event but the impact, we begin to approach ourselves — and others — with more compassion.
We stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and begin to ask, “What happened to me?”

That shift changes everything.

If you’ve experienced something that left you feeling stuck, anxious, disconnected, or constantly on alert, healing is possible. Therapy approaches like EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and neurofeedback can help your brain and body process what it couldn’t before — so you can feel safe, grounded, and fully alive again.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy, we help individuals and families in Mooresville, Troutman, Davidson, and across the Lake Norman area understand and heal from trauma.

You don’t have to carry it alone — real recovery begins with understanding what trauma truly is.

Starting therapy can feel uncertain—for kids and parents. This guide walks you through the first three play therapy sessions for ages 7–12 at Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville (Lake Norman), and explains exactly how parents are involved so progress continues at home and school.

We serve families across Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, and Huntersville with in-person appointments and secure telehealth consults.

Why Play Therapy for Ages 7–12?

School-age kids learn and communicate through doing—stories, art, games, and role-play—while they’re still building language for big feelings. Play therapy creates a safe, structured space to practice regulation skills, try new responses, and strengthen confidence and connection.

Common goals: handling worry or anger, smoother homework/bedtime transitions, fewer after-school meltdowns, better peer problem-solving, and school stress support.

Visit 1: Foundations—Trust, Curiosity, & A Simple Plan

Parent consult (brief): We start by confirming goals (e.g., “use a calm-down plan when frustrated,” “start homework with less conflict”). We’ll review history, routines, and any school info you’d like to share (teacher notes, IEP/504, etc.).

Child session:

• Warm welcome + tour of the playroom; kid chooses a starter activity.

• Check-in language (feelings scale, “engine speed,” colors/zones) so your child can signal how they’re doing.

• Observation through play to notice strengths, triggers, and motivation.

• Take-home: one tiny step—e.g., a 60-second breathing practice or a 2-step after-school transition.

Goal of Visit 1: Comfort + clarity. Your child leaves knowing what sessions feel like; you leave with one tiny routine to try at home.

Visit 2: First Skill—Regulation You Can Use Today

We choose one foundational skill matched to your child’s needs (examples: paced breathing, “anchor spot” imagery, sensory reset, body scan).

In session (kid-friendly):

• Practice the skill inside play (story, art, or a cooperative game).

• Name when to use it (“before homework,” “after recess,” “when the worry shows up”).

• Track success with a simple visual (stickers, points, or a checkmark chart).

Parent check-in (brief): You get a quick demo and a micro-practice to use at home (30–60 seconds counts).

Goal of Visit 2: Your child can use one skill with a little coaching. You know when to prompt it and what it should look like.

Visit 3: Applying the Skill—Challenges, Choices, & Routines

We now apply the skill in small, real-life challenges (frustrating puzzle, turn-taking, timed task, or light “what if” scenarios) and add a tiny decision script:

• Notice → Name → Skill → Next step
  (“I notice my engine is high → I’m in the yellow zone → 4 breaths → start math 1 problem at a time.”)

Home & school bridge:

• Pick one routine to attach the skill to (after-school snack → 3 breaths → start planner).

• If you request it, we’ll share a short note you can pass to teachers about the skill language your child knows.

Goal of Visit 3: Your child uses the skill with a nudge, and you have one routine where it reliably fits.

How Parents Are Involved (Without Taking Over)

• Short, scheduled check-ins every 3–4 sessions to review goals and adjust routines.

• One micro-habit at a time (keep it tiny so it sticks).

• Name effort, not perfection (“I saw you pause and breathe—great start”).

• Share school updates so we can align with teachers or support IEP/504 conversations (only with your permission).

• Link to Child & Teen Counseling page.

• Link to School-Related Struggles/Executive Function page if you have one.

How Long Before We See Changes?

Every child is different, but many families notice small improvements in 3–6 sessions with consistent practice. Typical care ranges 8–16 sessions, reviewed together.

Consistency beats perfection. Weekly or biweekly sessions + tiny practices at home usually outperform “intense” but inconsistent efforts.

Local Details: Where We’re Located

Our Mooresville office is in Morrison Plantation with easy parking and family-friendly scheduling. We’re convenient to Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, and Huntersville. Telehealth consults are available statewide.

When We Add Other Supports

Depending on goals, your clinician may recommend:

• Parent coaching sessions for routines and communication.

• EMDR-informed work for older kids (case-by-case).

• Collaboration with school counselors/teachers to align skills.

FAQs (Ages 7–12)

Do parents sit in?
Usually, your child meets individually, with brief parent check-ins. For some goals, we may include you to model or practice skills.

What if my child doesn’t want to talk?
That’s okay. We start with play and choice, build trust, and use kid-friendly language to make it safe to try new skills.

Do you take insurance?
We’re in-network with Aetna and Blue Cross NC, offer self-pay, and can provide documentation for out-of-network benefits.

What ages do you see for play therapy?
We see kids starting at age 7 through 12 for play therapy, and offer teen counseling for older students.

Ready to Start?

Small steps add up. Book a free consult (in-person Mooresville or telehealth across NC) and we’ll help you choose the best next step for your child.

Big Feelings At Home

The end of the school day can be a stress spike for kids—new rules at home, hunger, noise, homework, siblings. If your 7–12-year-old melts down, shuts down, or argues after school, you’re not alone. The good news is that a few play-based routines can smooth the transition and build real regulation skills.

At Sound Mind Counseling & Neurotherapy in Mooresville (Morrison Plantation), we help families across Lake Norman—Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Statesville, Sherrills Ford, Huntersville—create small, consistent habits that work.

Why After-School Is So Hard

• Body + brain fatigue: Kids have “held it together” for hours; fuel and focus are low.

• State shift: Moving from school structure to home freedom is a big gear change.

• Demands pile up: Snacks, screens, homework, sports, chores—often all at once.

A predictable routine lowers decision fatigue and lets kids practice one regulation skill in the same place each day.

The 5 Routines (Pick 1–2 to start)

Tip: Keep each step tiny (60–180 seconds). Consistency beats perfection.

1) The “Landing” (2–3 minutes)

Purpose: Downshift from “school speed” to “home speed.”
How:

1. Shoes/backpack to the same spot.

2. Body check-in: “Red/Yellow/Green?” or a 1–5 scale with a magnet.

3. One breath skill (4 slow breaths / “starfish” breathing).
   Play twist: Use a small hourglass timer and let your child flip it.

2) Snack + Story Swap (5–10 minutes)

Purpose: Refuel and reconnect.
How:

1. Offer a simple snack + water.

2. Share two-word stories: each person gives a “High” and “Low,” or “Win” and “Tricky.”

3. Adults go first to model brevity.
   Play twist: Use a soft “talking token” (silly rubber duck). Whoever holds it shares, others listen.

3) Movement Reset (3–5 minutes)

Purpose: Burn off restless energy before homework.
How: Pick one: 30 jumping jacks, 3 wall pushups + 3 slow breaths, 1-minute dance party, or a quick “animal walk” course (bear/crab/frog) between two cones.
Play twist: Roll a die to choose the movement.

4) Homework “Launch Pad” (10–15 minutes)

Purpose: Start—not finish—work with less friction.
How:

1. Set up the same spot (planner, pencil, water).

2. Two-minute preview: read directions, pick the very first step.

3. 5-minute focus burst (timer on), 2-minute break (timer off), repeat once.
   Play twist: Use a simple “mission card” your child checks off (we can give you a printable).

5) Calm Close (2–3 minutes)

Purpose: End the routine on “green” (regulated) if possible.
How:

1. 30–60 seconds of a sensory reset (cold water splash, hand lotion, or 5-senses scan).

2. Name the effort you saw (“You paused before math—great self-control”).
   Play twist: Put one sticker on a mini chart for “used my skill today.”

How to Introduce Routines (Without Power Struggles)

• Choose together: Let your child pick any two routines to try first.

• Keep it visual: Post a 3–5 step checklist with icons.

• Name the “why” in kid language (“This helps your brain switch gears”).

• Anchor in time/place: Same location, same order, most days.

• Praise effort, not results: “You started even though you didn’t want to.”

• Reset lightly: If it falls apart, return to the Landing for 60 seconds and try again.

When Homework Is the Flashpoint

Try Start Small: 1 problem, then a 2-minute break; repeat 2–3 times. If avoidance is high, begin with a 1-minute timer and build up every few days. Pair with Movement Reset first.

Internal link prompt: Link to your School-Related Struggles / Executive Function Coaching page.

Sample 20-Minute After-School Flow

1. Landing (2 min)

2. Snack + Story Swap (6 min)

3. Movement Reset (3 min)

4. Homework Launch Pad (8 min)

5. Calm Close (2 min)

Total: ~21 minutes. Adjust times to fit your family.

Local Details & Support

We offer child sessions (ages 7–12) in Mooresville and telehealth consults statewide. With your permission, we can coordinate language with teachers/school counselors so routines match school supports (504/IEP discussions as requested).

When to Consider Extra Help

If after-school remains a daily battle after 3–6 weeks of consistent routines—or if there are significant worries about anxiety, grief, or peer issues—play therapy plus brief parent coaching can help.

Play Therapy, Child & Teen Counseling, Family Therapy

FAQs

What if my child refuses the routine?
Shrink it. Try only the Landing for a week. Offer limited choices (“breaths or stretch?”). Praise any attempt.

How do we handle siblings?
Give each child a role (timer captain, sticker master). Stagger start times by 2 minutes if needed.

Should screens be part of the routine?
If screens are a must, place them after the Landing + Snack and before Homework as a 5–10 minute reward—timer visible.

Do you take insurance?
We’re in-network with Aetna and Blue Cross NC; self-pay available. We can provide documentation for out-of-network benefits.

What ages do you see?
We see kids starting at age 7 for play therapy and offer teen counseling for older students.

Ready to Make Afternoons Easier?

Small, consistent steps change evenings. Book a free consult (in-person Mooresville or telehealth across NC) and we’ll help you build a routine that fits your family.

Our Child Therapists

When big feelings show up in small bodies, kids don’t usually say, “I’m overwhelmed.” They show us—through behavior, play, and patterns at home or school. Play therapy gives children a safe, developmentally appropriate way to express what’s hard to say and to practice new skills for regulation, confidence, and connection. Our child counselors use play therapy to help children ages 7-12 work through worries, anger, grief, transitions, and school stress.

What Is Play Therapy?

Play therapy is a structured, evidence-informed approach that uses play—the natural language of children—to help them express feelings, process experiences, and learn coping skills. Depending on age and goals, sessions may include child-led play, sand tray, art, stories, role-play, and skill-building games.

Why it works:

• Developmentally matched: Kids learn through doing, not lectures.

• Emotion + skill practice: Children try on new responses (asking for help, calming, problem-solving) in a safe environment.

• Connection first: A trusted relationship with the therapist is the engine of change.

Signs a Child May Benefit

• Big feelings that linger (worry, anger, sadness, grief)

• Frequent meltdowns, shutdowns, or irritability

• School struggles: focus, frustration tolerance, peer conflicts, test anxiety

• Transitions: new school, family changes, relocations

• Sleep challenges, somatic complaints (tummy aches, headaches) without a clear medical cause

If you’re seeing several of these for 6+ weeks, a brief consult can help you decide next steps.

How Play Therapy Sessions Work

1) Intake & Goal-Setting (Parents/Caregivers)

Before your child’s first appointment, we meet with you (without your child) to hear your concerns, history, and hopes. Together we define clear, measurable goals (e.g., “fewer after-school meltdowns,” “use calm-down strategies when frustrated,” “improve morning routine”).

Internal link prompt: link “Child & Teen Counseling” page here.

2) The Child’s Sessions (Weekly or Biweekly)

Each 50 minute session is tailored by age and goals:

• Child-led play to build trust and reveal themes.

• Therapist-guided activities to practice skills: identifying feelings, flexible thinking, problem-solving, communication, and body-based calming (breathing, movement, sensory tools).

• Social/peer skills via role-play or games.

What you’ll notice: Over time, many children show improved regulation, more words for feelings, better transitions, and increased confidence trying new strategies.

3) Parent Guidance & Home Routines

Parents are essential teammates. Your clinician will offer brief parent check-ins (typically every 3–4 sessions) with simple routines to try at home—like a 5-minute “special play” time, a calmer bedtime plan, or a visual after-school routine.

Internal link prompt: link to “Family Therapy” or “Parent Support” if you have a page.

What to Expect at the First Three Visits

Visit 1: Your child meets the therapist, explores the room, and learns simple check-in language (feelings scales, “engine speed,” or “zones”). No pressure to talk about hard things—curiosity and comfort come first.

Visit 2: The therapist introduces one regulating skill (e.g., balloon breathing, starfish breathing, or a sensory reset) and practices it in play.

Visit 3: We begin using the skill in small challenges (a tricky puzzle, turn-taking game) and connect it to a home routine(after-school snack, homework start, bedtime wind-down).

Parent Role: How You Can Help

• Keep sessions consistent. Weekly/biweekly consistency beats “perfect” attendance.

• Practice one tiny skill at home (30–60 seconds counts).

• Name the wins (“I saw you pause and breathe before homework—that was brave.”).

• Share school updates so we can support IEP/504 conversations or teacher coordination as requested.

Local Details: Getting to Our Mooresville Office

We’re in Morrison Plantation near the Harris Teeter, convenient to Troutman, Davidson, Cornelius, Huntersville, Statesville, and Sherrills Ford, with family-friendly scheduling options. We also offer secure telehealth sessions for North Carolina families when an in-person visit isn’t feasible.

When Play Therapy Is Part of a Bigger Plan

Some children benefit from added supports. As a holistic, integrative practice, we can incorporate:

• Parent sessions for coaching and consistency

• EMDR-informed approaches for specific memories (older kids)

• Neurofeedback for improved emotion regulation, executive function, impulse control, and nervous system regulation

• School collaboration (with your consent) to align strategies

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does play therapy take?
Every child is different, but many families notice small improvements within 3–6 sessions. A common course is 8–16 sessions, reviewed together.

Will I be in the room?
Often the child meets individually while parents receive periodic check-ins. For younger children, we may include you briefly to model skills and practice handoffs.

Do you work with schools?
Yes—at your request we can coordinate with teachers or counselors and provide letters to support IEP/504 discussions.

What ages do you see?
We see ages 7–12 for play therapy and offer teen counseling for older students.

Do you take insurance?
We’re in-network with Aetna, BCBS, and Anthem BCBS, and offer self-pay. We can also submit out-of-network claims to most major insurance companies if you have OOT benefits.

Our Child Therapists

Boost Productivity for a Healthy Mind & Body Part 3

As we embark on a new year, it is natural to feel a sense of motivation and a desire to set goals and boost productivity. Health, fitness, career, and family are often at the forefront of our aspirations. In our ongoing series on a Healthy Mind & Body, we have explored the negative impact of eating before sleep on our mental and physical well-being, as well as the effects of substances like alcohol and marijuana on GABA regulation. In this blog, we shift our focus to small changes that can enhance productivity, mental clarity, and overall focus.

In today’s fast-paced world, we are constantly bombarded with information. Even during a short 15-minute drive to the office, we find ourselves inundated with text messages and emails, prompting us to use every idle moment to catch up on messages. Gone are the days of peaceful daydreaming and decompression during our commutes. Instead, our brains are constantly engaged and stimulated.

While technology undoubtedly brings many benefits, it also leads to continuous distractions and a sense of unfinished tasks due to constant notifications. This mental fatigue impairs our performance and prevents our brains from operating at their fullest potential. We must find a way to return to a time when we could allow our minds to wander freely. In this modern era, it becomes crucial to make a conscious decision to detach ourselves and engage in wakeful rest to unlock our best selves. This blog explores the concept of wakeful rest, its benefits, and practical steps to cultivate it.

The Brain Science:

One particular study conducted by the National Institute of Health yielded intriguing findings regarding the benefits of wakeful rest on cognitive learning tasks. The subjects who took short rests after learning new activities demonstrated significantly faster learning and retention rates, two to three times higher than those who just went home for a restful night’s sleep (1).

The brainwave patterns observed during wakeful rest revealed activation in the sensorimotor regions responsible for movement control (1). This activation triggers the replay of the practiced movements during the cognitive task, facilitating the solidification of muscle memory (1). Additionally, wakeful rest activates the Default Mode Network (DMN), which connects individuals to themselves, promotes groundedness, and enables self-reflection (2). These DMN activations allow for a more profound sense of presence and self-awareness.

The engagement of these neural networks during downtime not only replenishes attention and motivation but also fosters productivity and creativity. Furthermore, wakeful rest aids in forming stable memories, providing the foundation for achieving peak performance and overall cognitive function in everyday life. Simply put, our brains operate more efficiently when allowed to rest.

We can conclude from brain science that incorporating practical steps for engaging in wakeful rest can greatly benefit your mental clarity and overall well-being. By taking intentional breaks and allowing your brain to recharge, you can enhance focus, boost creativity, and improve productivity throughout the day.

Here are some actionable suggestions to try:

Physical exercise or walking: Allocate time during your day for a brisk walk or exercise session. Not only does this support brain function, but doing so during a lunch break contributes to improved afternoon productivity.

Daydreaming: Practice Positive Constructive Daydreaming (3), which involves purposeful and mindful daydreaming sessions. Start with shorter intervals of 5-10 minutes and gradually increase the duration as you become more proficient.

Napping: When you find it challenging to think or concentrate, a short 10-30-minute nap can provide an energy boost and help you approach tasks with renewed clarity. For more demanding tasks, consider longer naps to ensure optimal cognitive functioning.

Remember, prioritizing rest and relaxation is an essential component of living your best life. By understanding what aids and hinders your cognitive well-being, you can make informed choices to nurture a healthy brain and body.

Healthy Mind & Body – Part 2 Here

Resources

1. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/study-shows-how-taking-short-breaks-may-help-our-brains-learn-new-skills
2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127769/
3.  https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/secret-to-brain-success-intelligent-cognitive-rest-2017050411705

Healthy Mind & Body Part 2

Discover the Transformative Power of Sleep for Your Brain and Body: 

Welcome to part two of our Healthy Brain & Body blog series, where we delve into the profound effects that sleep has on our mental health and a simple sleep hack to help. In this installment, we’ll explore the remarkable benefits of sleep and how it impacts our overall well-being.

Scientific research has unequivocally shown that sleep plays a crucial role in various aspects of our cognitive function. Not only does it enhance memory recall, but it also regulates metabolism and reduces mental fatigue. When we sleep, our brain undergoes a process of reorganization and recharging, while eliminating toxic waste byproducts that accumulate throughout the day. This evidence demonstrates the vital role of sleep in maintaining the normal functioning of our brain (1).

During deep sleep and the REM phase, our body allocates its resources to repair tissues and cells, as well as rejuvenate the energy and function of the central nervous system. This process is essential for recovering from physical and mental stress (1).

Understanding the Key to Healthy Sleep Hygiene

Understanding the significance of healthy sleep hygiene is paramount. One crucial factor to consider is the timing of our meals before bedtime. Autophagy, the process by which our body eliminates waste in the brain and body, only occurs during fasting. Consuming food close to bedtime inhibits autophagy, allowing bad cells and stress hormones to accumulate, leading to toxic build-up and impaired recovery (2).

The First 90 Minutes: A Make-or-Break Phase

The first 90 minutes of sleep are particularly crucial for the cleansing and rejuvenation of our cells. For optimal, restorative sleep, it is important to avoid having insulin in our bloodstream when we go to bed. Ideally, we should refrain from eating 3-4 hours before bedtime, allowing our body ample time to clear insulin. Going to bed hungry leads to waking up energized and refreshed, while going to bed full results in feeling hungry and tired upon waking (2). This is especially important for women since their circadian rhythm is one hour shorter than men’s.

These insights are especially valuable for those practicing intermittent fasting. While many individuals choose to eat later in the day, this disrupts a healthy circadian rhythm. To optimize sleep and overall well-being, it is advisable to break the fast earlier in the day and abstain from eating later in the evening.

Simple Changes, Big Impact

Incorporating simple changes to our habits and routines can have a profound impact on our brain, mental health, and body. By prioritizing restorative sleep, we enhance our ability to retain new information, improve cognitive function, regulate emotions, and recover from stress.

Discover the transformative power of sleep and unlock your full potential for a healthier, more vibrant life.

Enhance Your Learning

Read Part 1 Here

References

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4651462/
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LVpOuzRInE

Helpful resources on the subject

https://www.scientificarchives.com/article/impact-of-sleep-on-autophagy-and-neurodegenerative-disease-sleeping-your-mind-clear

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22171206/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34511160/

Healthy Mind & Body Part 1

The Brain, Substances & Overwhelm:

As a mental health professional, I am genuinely fascinated by the human brain. Our overall well-being depends on the integration of a healthy mind, body, and soul – a delicate balance. When one element suffers, it affects the rest of our being. It is crucial to acknowledge that emotional and relational issues presented by my clients are regularly rooted in the functionality of their brains. This blog series is dedicated to highlighting various aspects of a healthy brain and body connection.

Part 1: 

Today, I aim to shed light on the profound impact of substances such as alcohol and marijuana on our mental and physical health. It’s not uncommon for individuals to unwind with a glass of wine or a beer after a long day. Similarly, in a world where marijuana is increasingly legalized, many seek solace through smoking a joint or consuming edibles to alleviate anxiety. I empathize entirely with the overwhelming nature of life that drives these choices.

To comprehend how these substances affect us, let’s explore the vital role of an amino acid called GABA, how it functions, and the impact of substances on its regulation. GABA receptors, as inhibitory neurotransmitters within the central nervous system, serve to reduce neuronal excitability by suppressing nerve transmission. Essentially, GABA helps keep our brains calm and is critical in preventing seizures. Individuals experiencing severe dependency often face seizures when deprived of these substances.

With continuous usage of alcohol and marijuana, our brain produces less GABA because these substances elicit similar effects. The problem arises when we don’t have access to these substances, as our brains fail to produce sufficient GABA, causing increased arousal and anxiety. Thus, we find ourselves trapped in a vicious cycle of perpetual anxiousness, only relieved by substance use. Over time, this also leads to depression, as the brain remains in a perpetually over-aroused state.

Additionally, GABA plays a significant role in managing pain and sensory receptors within the spine. When our brain fails to produce sufficient GABA due to substance use, our bodies become highly sensitive to physical pain and negative emotions. Naturally, none of us relish heightened pain sensations, providing yet another compelling reason to minimize the consumption of these substances.

What to Do With This Information:

While most individuals will find this information valuable in moderating their alcohol and drug intake, I recognize that cutting back or eliminating substances can present a significant challenge for some. For those grappling with an over-aroused brain, neurofeedback offers a promising alternative. By calming the brain, neurofeedback allows for a state of increased serenity, decreasing the need for dependency.

For most of you, this information serves as a useful reminder to moderate alcohol consumption for optimal brain and body function. However, cutting back or eliminating substances can be challenging for some, as their brain remains in a constant state of overarousal. In such cases, neurofeedback can prove beneficial in calming the brain, reducing dependence on artificial means of achieving calmness. By addressing the electrical component of the brain, we pave the way for chemical balance.

If you desire a more in-depth understanding, please refer to the articles provided. Additionally, feel free to explore my website for further information on neurofeedback or reach out to me with any questions you may have.

Let’s work toward a healthier and more balanced lifestyle together!

Enhance Your Learning

Reels on Mental Health

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826832/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17175808/#:~:text=In%20addition%2C%20GABA%20neurons%20and,processing%20in%20the%20spinal%20cord.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15578966/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/014976348390009X

Joy & the Brain

When it comes to our overall health and well-being, having a healthy joy center in the brain is essential. This part of our brain is responsible for numerous aspects of our lives, including the development of our identity, how we interact with others, and our resilience in the face of difficult times. The last two blog posts in this series focused on explaining how our joy center is developed and what happens when we lack a strong joy center. In this blog post, we will explore some of the many benefits of experiencing joyful bonds and having a strong joy center in the brain.

One of the most important aspects of healthy joy bonds is it helps with identity formation. When we are nurtured by our caregivers and experience regular joy, or gladness to be together, our emotional brain develops in a way that allows us to be comfortable with our own emotions and respond to our social environment in a healthy way (Schore, 2019). This foundation of trust and comfort is essential for developing a strong sense of self. Furthermore, a strong identity allows us to feel confident in who we are and allows us to develop healthy boundaries for ourselves and our relationships. Think about it this way: when parents take regular interest in their baby, it signifies to the baby’s brain that he/she is important, valuable, and worth the investment of their time and energy!

Another important aspect of having a strong joy center is that the capacity to engage in intense or difficult life circumstances is developed out of joy (Wilder, 2014). Joy causes us to be more resilient. Dr. Alan Schore (2019) explains that we are able to make the most of times of joy, and then when facing tough times, we implicitly trust that we can cope. Instead of feeling stuck without a solution to our problems, our brain’s joy center is able to remind us that we are not alone and will get through our toughest issues. See how the connection between secure attachment and joy aids in minimizing our distress? When we know we are not alone, our brain has a great ability to access the elated mindset of joy.

Another important aspect of joy is that it builds brain strength (Wilder, 2014). When our brain experiences joy, it releases opiates that are necessary for feeling calm, safe, energized, elated, and many other positive emotional states. These chemicals help to boost our mood and make us feel good. Joy essentially allows us to engage in life with energy, creativity, and endurance (Wilder, 2019). It is also contagious! Because our brain uses mirror neurons when one person is interacting with another person who has higher levels of joy, the person with lower joy levels is able to experience a boost in their energy, creativity, and endurance.

This lends itself to another reason why it is important to have joyful bonds with other people. We all experience times of grief, loss, crisis, and trauma which can cause anyone to have a difficult time experiencing joy on their own. When we are experiencing tough times like these, we can borrow joy from someone else. This can happen by engaging relationally with those who are experiencing higher levels of joy. Their joy-full brain can reflect to the person who is struggling and create a boost in joy. This happens because joy propagates from one brain to another (Wilder, 2014).

As this series on joy comes to a close, it’s important to know that even if you have not experienced joyful bonds with parents or family, you can still begin to develop joyful bonds with others now. Growing our brain’s joy center is a lifelong process. You can continue growing yours by finding others with higher levels of joy and intentionally developing relationships with them. You can also focus on practicing gratitude on your own and with others. Try it as often as possible to maximize your brain’s potential!

Here are a couple of examples to practice:

• When you are with someone you love, share something you appreciate about them or about your life.
• When you are driving in your car or going for a walk, allow yourself to become aware of your surroundings and think of all of the aspects you are grateful for about those things as you pass.

Joy is contagious.  It increases and spreads more rapidly than you might expect.  As you begin to experience higher levels of joy in your own brain, you can start becoming intentional about helping to increase the joy in other people too. What an amazing gift to be able to offer to those around you!

Enhance Your Learning

Read Part Two

Reels on Mental Health

Resources

Schore, A. N. (2019). Right Brain Psychotherapy. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company

Wilder, E. J., et al. (2014). Joy Starts Here: The Transformation Zone. East Peoria, IL: Shepherd’s House Inc.

Joy & the Brain: Part 2

In the last blog of this series, (Joy: A Necessity for Life), we examined some ways in which joy is not only powerful, but also necessary for secure attachment, healthy emotional development, and robust identity formation. We also saw how joyous moments help to strengthen the brain’s neuropathways as it self-organizes. “If a mother doesn’t mirror her infant in a way to generate positive arousal, the positive arousal circuits are at risk of atrophy, making it harder in later life for that person to feel joy and excitement” (Schore, 2019). To fully understand how early experiences shape our brain development and impact our health throughout our lives, we will look at the various whole-body consequences of low or absent joy.

One of the developments of too little joy early in life is that fear bonds form in place of secure attachment. As a result, fear and anxiety shape the way our brain organizes itself and functions (Wilder et al, 2014). When fear and anxiety dominate the brain, it is unable to find stable joy to regulate emotions, pain, and pleasure appropriately (Wilder et al, 2014). In addition, fear bonds affect a person’s ability to develop a healthy self-concept. This is because identity forms in the first five years of life through what our main caregivers reflect to us about ourselves. If they reflect low joy and fear, then a person’s identity will waiver based on their performance and the behaviors of others.

As insecure attachment stunts the joy center’s growth and development, it results in above-average activation of the brain’s amygdala and hippocampus (Wilder et al, 2014). These areas of the brain activate when a person experiences something fearful or dangerous, causing the fight, flight, or freeze response. The amygdala is connected to the vagus nerve, which makes up our limbic system. The vagus nerve runs along the brainstem to important organs of the body. When we have trauma, insecure attachment, and an underdeveloped joy center, our amygdala reacts frequently, activating the limbic system and affecting our bodies. When fear dominates our everyday interactions instead of joy, the limbic system activates frequently, inhibiting various functions in the brain and body such as social processes, regulating emotions, and functions of the heart, digestion, and other vital organs (Porges, 2021). As mentioned earlier, fear bonds cause whole-body consequences.

One of the most common struggles of those with low joy is the presence of addiction. Wilder et al (2014) explain that “in the absence of joy to regulate pain, pleasure, and emotions internally, the brain craves an external source of artificial joy to do what it is unable to do for itself.” These artificial sources of joy include comfort foods, sex, work, performance, approval, codependent relationships, excitement, gambling, entertainment, and substances (Wilder et al, 2014). Instead of experiencing joy through connection with others, a person will seek joy substitutes (or pseudo-joys) that stimulate the pleasure center of the brain to release dopamine (Wilder et al, 2014). These joy substitutes generate temporary feelings of pleasure that help us regulate internal distress, reduce pain, increase pleasure and escape from negative emotions (Wilder et al, 2014), but the feeling is short-lived. They instead cause a person to lose the ability to feel pleasure and calm without the use of those pseudo-joys.

In summary, living with low joy is detrimental to attaching to others, forming a healthy identity, regulating emotions, and calming the body. As a result of feeling fearful to attach and connect, people go to experiences, food, and substances that cause the brain to release rewards. When we use pseudo-joys to regulate and recover from painful emotions, our brain’s self-organizing systems lose the ability to grow and strengthen healthy brain pathways. This causes a person to stay stuck in dysfunctional patterns that halt growth, healing, and recovery. Friesen et al (2013) explain that “people cannot recover from traumas that are bigger than the size of their joyful identity,” therefore, growing our brain’s joy center through joyful connection is essential in the recovery from addiction and trauma.

The next blog will complete this series on joy by highlighting the benefits of living with high joy and how to begin focusing on growing your brain’s joy center.

Enhance Your Learning

Read Part 1 Here

Reels on Mental Health

 References

Friesen, J.G. et al. (2013). Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You, 15th Anniversary Study Edition. East Peoria, IL: Shepherd’s House Inc.

Porges, S. W. (2021). Polyvagal Safety: Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation. New York, NY: W.W. Norton and Company.

Schore, A. N. (2019). Right Brain Psychotherapy. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company

Wilder, E. J., et al. (2014). Joy Starts Here: The Transformation Zone. East Peoria, IL: Shepherd’s House Inc.

Joy & the Brain: Part 1

Playing with a baby is one of the most joy-filled experiences! The back-and-forth laughter and smiles continue as we make silly noises or tickle our baby’s tummy. When we engage in this type of play, everyone involved experiences an elated feeling of joy. Sometimes playtime turns into a time of consoling our crying baby without a moment’s notice! While an adult can stay in this state of elation for an extended period of time, the joy center of the baby’s brain (a section of the front of the brain that governs one’s state of mind) is underdeveloped and can only handle small amounts before experiencing overwhelm.

Although babies have a small and underdeveloped joy center, the human brain’s joy center has the ability to continue to grow through life (2). As this area continues to grow, we gain the ability to handle greater levels of joy and distress before needing to rest and recover (2). Joy is a state of elation we experience when someone is glad to be with us (2). Contrary to popular belief, we don’t have the ability to choose joy. However, we do have the ability to strategically grow our ability to experience joy. Practicing gratitude is a great way to position ourselves to increase joy. That said, connections with others (who are glad to be with us) are the primary ways we experience and grow our joy capacity.

As we interact with others, our brains are constantly growing and changing; this is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity happens because we are constantly taking in new information and experiences and incorporating them into our understanding of the world. Our brain is also regularly and repeatedly seeking patterns and connections in the information it receives. A leading expert in this field, Dr. Allan Schore, has helped us to understand that the brain develops as a self-organizing system that occurs in the context of another brain, not in isolation (1). This means that the brains of those we are around help our brain to develop its experience of the world, as well as how it develops and self-organizes.

Let’s return to the example of the baby. The brain of an infant is dependent on the brain of a caregiver to develop. As a caregiver nurtures and engages in play with an infant, the brain of the baby begins to feel emotions that activate neural circuits that are more easily activated in the future (1). Think about this like building a new road; the more work that is done on it, the easier it becomes to travel down. As a caregiver and infant engage in face-to-face interactions, the emotionally expressive face of the caregiver causes the developing child’s brain to be altered to mimic the brain of the adult (1). As a result of positive, joyful interactions, the baby’s brain experiences elation or joy, which further results in the brain’s reward center releasing opioids, also known as hormones like dopamine and oxytocin (1). As a caregiver’s actions cause the infant’s brain to experience joy, the amplified joy in the child’s brain mirrors back to the adult, further increasing the joy that the adult brain experiences.

From the moment we are born, joy shapes the chemistry, structure, and growth of our brain (2). It sets up how the brain experiences relationships, emotions, pain, and pleasure, as well as establishing a healthy and stable identity throughout our lifetime (2). Most importantly, the experience of joy is a necessary part of secure attachment. An infant attaches securely to a caregiver when he/she experiences joy, which leads to the brain’s reward center releasing oxytocin, the attachment hormone (1). This early experience of joy is essential for setting up healthy relationships, emotions, and identity. Without joy, the developing brain cannot self-organize in a healthy way. Therefore, it is essential that every brain experiences joy in order to develop properly.

There is much evidence for the case that joy is one of the most necessary relational experiences a person needs, beginning at birth and continuing through life. When resulting emotions and connection are missing, it sets a person up for a host of problems throughout life. The second blog in this series will focus on what happens when a person lives in a state of low joy. The final blog will conclude by highlighting the benefits of living with true joy.

Ways to Keep Learning

Reels On Mental Health

 Read Part 2 Here

References

1. Schore, A. N. (2016). Affect regulation and the origin of the self: The neurobiology of emotional
development. Routledge.

2. Wilder, E. J., Khouri, E. M., Coursey, C. M., & Sutton, S. D. (2021). Joy starts here: The transformation zone. Joy Starts Here.

Part 3 of a Series on Emotion Regulation

In my previous two blog posts, I talked about the importance of emotional regulation and how it can help us lead happier lives. Today, I will be discussing three habits that resilient people have in common. These habits are important because they help to keep our emotions in check and allow us to bounce back from difficult situations.

Have you ever met a person who seems to live every day joyfully, as if they don’t have a care in the world and with an endless supply of energy? I had a friend like this in college. While I was stressed with class assignments and a job, she was happily volunteering at a soup kitchen after a full day of school and work. While I was overwhelmed, living in a dorm with a constant buzz of noise and people, she was finding ways to make new friends. I didn’t understand her. I envied her. Mostly, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. Why was I frequently sick? Why was I so stressed? Why was I easily irritated with people?

As a mental health professional, I now understand that I was not like my friend because I didn’t have parents who helped me learn important skills for building emotional resilience. My friend had parents who helped her learn to cope with stress and adversity. She was fortunate enough to have caregivers who helped her develop emotional resilience. The remainder of this article is dedicated to describing the three habits that build emotional resilience.

Emotional Resilience Habits

Habit 1

The first habit is appreciation. Resilient people take time to appreciate the good in their lives. While these individuals still acknowledge the difficulties and struggles in life, they put more focus on the positives. They are thankful for what they have, rather than dwelling on what they don’t have.

The human brain can be trained to focus on what there is in life that brings joy by intentionally practicing gratitude at the start of each day. Looking for things to be thankful for and writing them in a journal is a great way to practice. Staying mindful and practicing appreciation five minutes or longer two times each day, will grow your joy and build emotional resilience (1).  This practice of thankfulness will also have a positive impact on those around you by helping others experience a state of gratitude.

Habit 2

The second habit of emotionally resilient people is that they are able to adjust faulty beliefs and develop a strong adaptive belief system in regard to themselves, their life and the world. Our beliefs are connected to our emotional state and both of these come from our interpretation of the world and life events.  As mentioned in the description of the first habit, emotionally resilient people focus on optimism (1).  When optimism floods over us, we see our lives as stories of redemption and restoration and form our beliefs accordingly; when pessimism takes control, it feels like nothing will ever change and leaves us with a feeling of doom and our belief system is rooted in that negativity (1).

It can be difficult to shift into a state of optimism when your mind is used to thinking about the negative, but it is possible with practice. Spending time scanning your thoughts and writing out the beliefs that are driving your negative thoughts can help you identify the narratives you believe. When you know those core negative beliefs, you can recognize them when they show up and have compassion for yourself in those moments. That compassionate approach can help you shift into the first habit of appreciation, which will help you develop beliefs grounded in optimism.

Habit 3

The third habit of emotionally resilient people is that they are connected to others. Social isolation kills joy and has many adverse health consequences connected to depression, sleep quality, and executive and cognitive function (2).  Emotionally resilient people create connections with people and know they are not alone when they experience problems and painful emotions. “Feeling safe, calm, and connected helps you grow your capacity to deal with hard things” (1).

Creating connection with others is something we cannot wait for others to do. By practicing simple relational skills, we can increase our social connections and deepen relationships. Smiling and showing curiosity are important ways we connect with others. In addition, showing appreciation toward others increases both their joy and yours. These small gestures make people feel seen and valued, and allow you to develop the habit of connection.

Conclusion

Building emotional resilience is a life-long practice. It is something we have to intentionally work on every day. The continuous effort is worth it because it allows us to live joyful lives despite the hardships we face. If you are interested in learning more about this topic, the following book is an excellent resource for getting started: Building Bounce: How to Grow Emotional Resilience by Marcus Warner and Stefanie Hinman.

Read Part 2 Here

Resources

1. Warner, M. & Hinman, S. 2020. Building Bounce: How to Grow Emotional Resilience. Deeper Walk International: Carmel, IN.
2. Hawkley LC, Capitanio JP. 2015. Perceived social isolation, evolutionary fitness and health outcomes: a lifespan approach. Phil. Trans. R. Soc. B 370: 20140114. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2014.0114

Part 2 of The Series on Regulating Emotions

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the gift of a healthy relationship with your emotions. When you have a healthy relationship with your emotions, you are able to acknowledge, feel, and express them in a way that is supportive and beneficial to you. We call this regulating emotions. This doesn’t mean that you have to like all of your emotions, or even that you have to feel them all the time. But having a healthy relationship with emotions does mean that you are aware of them, and that you are able to process them in a helpful way for yourself and your relationships.

Acknowledging your emotions is an important step in managing them. When you notice that you are feeling an emotion like anger, sadness or fear, it allows you to take steps to address the emotion. Feeling the emotion means more than just acknowledging that it is there; it involves a deep connection with the emotion. You may notice the emotion in your body, in your thoughts, or in your outward expressions. Expressing the emotion allows you to release it in a safe and healthy way. Using words that represent the emotion can help you to communicate how you are feeling. Allowing your body to express the emotion can also help you to release it. Acknowledging, feeling, and expressing your emotions is an important part of managing them.

When a person is able to acknowledge, feel and express their emotions, it results in catharsis. This refers to the experience of relief resulting from the expression of strong emotions that may be experienced after, for example, crying, swearing, or aggressive acts (2). The general idea is that such expressions result in the release of excessive emotional energy that, if not adequately released, might convert into a variety of psychological and even physical health problems.

Crying is a way for our body to reduce accumulated tension and physiological arousal from both positive and negative emotions. It has also been shown to increase attachment behavior, encouraging closeness, empathy, and support from friends and family (2). When we try to hold back our tears, it results in a build-up of emotional stress that can lead to worsening mood, anxiety, and depression (2).

As a result of connecting with emotions, engaging in an expression like crying, talking, and experiencing catharsis, we loosen the emotion’s grip over our well-being. We further benefit from seeing our problem in a new light, making it easier to problem-solve, reduce stress, increase resilience, reduce anxiety, improve confidence, and ease depression (1).

Emotionally resilient people are not immune to negative emotions, but they have the ability to manage them effectively. While some people may try to avoid negative emotions altogether, emotional resilience is about recognizing and accepting them as a normal part of life. People who are emotionally resilient are more likely to experience positive emotions, such as joy and happiness. They are also better able to cope with stressful situations and bounce back from setbacks.

Emotional resilience is like a muscle. Just as you cannot build up your strength overnight, it takes time and effort to develop these skills, but the benefits are worth every second of work! In my next blog, I will be talking about three practices that emotionally resilient people utilize to maintain peace within themselves along life’s journey.

Regulating Emotions – Part 1 Here

Resources of Regulating Emotions

1. Alston, T. (2020). [Why Expressing Emotions is Beneficial]. http://www.tracyalston.com Retrieved from https://tracyalston.com/why-expressing-emotions-is-beneficial/
2. Gračanin, A., Bylsma, L. M., & Vingerhoets, A. J. (2014). Is crying a self-soothing behavior?. Frontiers in psychology, 5, 502. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502

Part 1 of How to Stop Ignoring Emotions & Learn the Risks

We have all heard the phrase “don’t let your emotions get the best of you.”  This phrase means it is a bad idea to allow your emotions to control you. Emotion regulation has become a popular topic in recent years as we see the consequences of ignoring emotion and letting tensions build without a release. When you suppress your emotions, you end up feeling overwhelmed and out of control.

Can you think of a person who offers practical, problem-solving solutions rather than empathy to emotional problems? A high percentage of my clients report that they have someone in their life who gives them solutions rather than empathic care when an emotional situation arises. Maybe you are a person who gives solutions rather than empathy or maybe you are in a close relationship with someone like this. People often mean well when they take this approach. However, they are trying to help you feel better in ways that suppress emotions. They want you to “suck it up” and move on. Sometimes people approach others or themselves this way because they are not comfortable feeling negative emotions. This is not the healthiest way to deal with your emotions. Suppressing your emotions can lead to a whole host of problems that we will discuss in this blog.

Meta-emotion is the term used to describe how a person feels about emotions. While some people consider themselves to be “feelers or empaths,” others do not see emotions as beneficial. Prior life experiences contribute to how we feel about expressing emotions or experiencing others’ expression of emotions. Growing up in a home with a parent with intense emotions, being told to stop crying, or having parents who made comments like “suck it up, buttercup” can cause a person to have a maladaptive view of negative emotions.

Furthermore, viewing negative emotions as “bad” can result in unhealthy ways of coping with emotions. Emotional suppression is a coping style used to hide or push away negative emotions. This coping style is a defense mechanism that people use to protect themselves from unwanted feelings by focusing on positive thoughts and ignoring negative thoughts that are connected to negative emotions (1).

Emotional suppression may appear to help those who do not wish to feel “bad,” but there are several risks associated with this type of coping. Not being able to feel and process our negative emotions leads to an increase in anxiety, depression, and PTSD (3). Studies have also linked health issues like cancer, cardiovascular diseases, and hypertension to suppressive copers (2). In addition, continuing to suppress negative emotions can lead to a condition called alexithymia, which is a mental condition when people lack the ability to feel both positive and negative emotions (3).

It may seem helpful to ignore negative emotions temporarily in order to avoid feeling down, but the evidence is clear that suppressing emotions is detrimental to our well-being. If you would like to learn about the positive effects of feeling emotions, be sure to read the second blog in this series.

Read Part 2 Here

Enhance Your Learning With Some Short Videos

SOURCES

1. Garssen, B. (2007). Repression: Finding our way in the maze of concepts. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 30(6), 471–481. doi:10.1007/s10865-007-9122-7

2. Mund M, Mitte K. (2012, September 31). The costs of repression: a meta-analysis on the relation between repressive coping and somatic diseases. Health Psychol, 5, 640-649. doi: 10.1037/a0026257

3. Santarnecchi E, Sprugnoli G, Tatti E, Mencarelli L, Neri F, Momi D, Di Lorenzo G, Pascual-Leone A, Rossi S, Rossi A. (2018, June 18). Brain functional connectivity correlates of coping styles. Cognitive Affective Behavioral Neuroscience, 18 (3), 495-508. doi: 10.3758/s13415-018-0583-7

Part 3 of Calming the Anxiety Monster

The first two parts of this blog series introduced you to a different way to approach anxiety. Part one focused on communicating that all anxiety inhibits cognitive functioning and productivity, and how dismissing and judging your anxious self keeps you trapped in a constant anxiety cycle. Part two provided an education on how your various internal parts need to be acknowledged and soothed in order to attend to your protector parts and vulnerable parts in a more nurturing way. The final part of this blog series will wrap up by helping you understand five external factors that may be contributing to increased levels of anxiety. We hope to empower you in calming anxiety.

1. Caffeine Consumption

Caffeine is the most ingested stimulant in the world (2). Most people do not consume toxic amounts of caffeine; however, those prone to experiencing frequent nervousness may be experiencing higher levels of anxiety from caffeine consumption. In an older study of people with anxiety disorders, symptoms of anxiety improved by abstaining from caffeine and continued to experience relief after a six-month follow-up (1). In another older study, caffeine was found to increase anxiety, hostility, and psychotic symptoms (3). Take a moment to reflect: is your caffeine intake negatively impacting your overall well-being?

2. Alcohol Consumption

Alcohol use disorders are often a co-occuring diagnosis with anxiety disorders (4). Many seek out substances to numb or relieve unwanted anxiety. It is not commonly understood that alcohol consumption can actually increase anxiety symptoms when the alcoholic substance leaves the body (4). When people with anxiety use alcohol to find relief from their symptoms, it can create a vicious cycle of chronic drinking to reduce anxiety which leads to increasing anxiety symptoms (5). Take a moment to reflect: is your alcohol consumption negatively impacting your overall well-being?

3. Smartphone Usage

Smartphones are convenient for keeping us connected, accessing instant information, and helping us with productivity. These devices go with us everywhere; they sit in our pockets, purses, and night stands and are rarely outside of arm’s reach. However, the constant notifications create distractions and have the potential to keep us feeling anxious (6). All those unread text messages, emails, and social media notifications cause us to feel like we have unfinished tasks and keep us in a state of unrest. Take a moment to reflect: is your smartphone usage negatively impacting your overall well-being?

4. Lack of Quieting Yourself

“Quieting after both joyful and upsetting emotions is the strongest predictor of life-long mental health” (7). The absence of rest from emotions causes overwhelm and has the potential to increase anxiety (7). Learning to create a rhythm of experiencing emotions followed by moments of rest (or internal calm) can help you experience satisfaction and refreshment, instead of feeling overwhelm and anxiety. Take a moment to reflect: is your inability to quiet negatively impacting your overall well-being?

5. Not Taking Days Off

Learning to say no to work can be difficult in a culture focused on productivity. Even when we aren’t doing work we are paid for, we can fill up our days off with household chores and mental work. Dr. Caroline Leaf is a neuroscientist and expert in helping people learn how to live without mental overwhelm. Her podcasts and books repeatedly express the importance of taking a day off every seven days to give yourself a mental break. She highlights that a day off should include practicing doing nothing, disconnecting from technology and others, and setting boundaries (8). Take a moment to reflect: is overworking negatively impacting your overall well-being?

This three-part series on anxiety is a small introduction to the maladaptive nature of worry and how you can make internal and external changes to find relief from its debilitating effects. You don’t have to live the rest of your life with a mind that cannot stop racing, a body that won’t relax, and a daily experience that leaves you exhausted and overwhelmed. After reflecting on each of the five areas above, check-in one final time. If you answered “yes” to one or more of the questions, but you are unsure what to do next, reach out to a licensed counselor today.

Read Part 1 Here – Calming Anxiety

Read Part 2 Here – Calming Anxiety

References

1. Bruce, M., & Lader, M. (1989). Caffeine abstention in the management of anxiety disorders. Psychological Medicine, 19(1), 211-214. doi:10.1017/S003329170001117X. Retrieved from  https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/abs/caffeine-abstention-in-the-management-of-anxiety-disorders/F407459F72A69CA597EA3F8FDB6E6606
2. Daly, J. W., Holmén, J., & Fredholm, B. B. (1998). Ar koffein beroendeframkallande? Världens mest nyttjade psykoaktiva substans påverkar samma delar av hjärnan som kokain [Is caffeine addictive? The most widely used psychoactive substance in the world affects same parts of the brain as cocaine]. Lakartidningen, 95(51-52), 5878–5883. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9889511/
3. Winston, A., Hardwick, E., & Jaberi, N. (2005). Neuropsychiatric effects of caffeine. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 11(6), 432-439. doi:10.1192/apt.11.6.432
4. Blaney D., Jackson A.K., Toy O., Fitzgerald A., Piechniczek-Buczek J. (2019) Substance-Induced Anxiety and Co-occurring Anxiety Disorders. In: Donovan A., Bird S. (eds) Substance Use and the Acute Psychiatric Patient. Current Clinical Psychiatry. Humana, Cham. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-23961-3_8.
5. Kushner, M. G., Abrams, K. & Borchardt, C. (2000). The relationship between anxiety disorders and alcohol use disorders: A review of major perspectives and findings,
   Clinical Psychology Review, Vol. 20, Iss. 2, Pgs 149-171. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1016/S0272-7358(99)00027-6
6. Sohn, S.Y., Rees, P., Wildridge, B. et al. Prevalence of problematic smartphone usage and associated mental health outcomes amongst children and young people: a systematic review, meta-analysis and GRADE of the evidence. BMC Psychiatry 19, 356 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-019-2350-x
7. Coursey, C. (2016). Transforming Fellowship: 19 Brain Skills That Build Joyful Community. East Peoria, IL: Shepherd’s House Inc.
8. Retrieved from https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/why-do-we-feel-guilty-about-taking-breaks-how-to-take-the-most-affective-brain-breaks

How to Master Techniques for Calming Anxiety: Part 2

In part one of the blog series Taming the Anxiety Monster, we examined how a flawed 1950s study led to decades of misinformation about the relationship between anxiety, executive functioning, and performance. Research now confirms that even small amounts of anxiety impair focus and productivity, making it maladaptive rather than beneficial. Calming anxiety begins with recognizing and engaging your internal parts of self with curiosity and compassion—a process that supports nervous system regulation and cognitive clarity. In this continuation, we’ll explore how developing a healthy internal relationship further reduces anxiety’s influence and promotes lasting emotional stability.

The previously introduced internal parts are also known as your internal family system. Let me create a picture of this internal system by comparing it to a living family. Every person within a family plays a different role and carries out different responsibilities in order for stability and health. When these roles are clearly defined and relationships experience connection and compassion, the family thrives. Parents operate as protectors, nurturers and providers for their family. Young children are vulnerable, and in need of supportive, caring bonds in order to feel safe, secure, and process their emotions. Childhood and adolescence are stages when individuals learn that their needs do matter, but that the world does not revolve around their comfort.

Within the internal family system, our parts are known as the manager, firefighter, and exile (2). As the first blog mentioned, the exile part is your vulnerable childlike self that needs to be nurtured, protected and provided for. It is apparent that this part is in need when we are experiencing negative emotions such as fear, shame, hopelessness, isolation, abandonment, rejection, feeling marginalized, unseen, unheard, and so forth (2). When our exile needs attention, and we don’t know how to attend to it, we often see our manager or firefighter parts take over. Our manager is very good at keeping us on task, keeping us safe and driving us to perform, but it does a poor job at attending to our emotional needs. Our manager frequently shows up by worrying, people-pleasing, overworking, overanalyzing relationships and decisions, criticizing oneself and other, and over controlling one’s own behaviors and others (2). While our manager acts as a guard, our firefighter’s job is to extinguish pain. Our firefighter minimizes pain by providing comfort and rest but also often overindulges in activities like surfing the web, eating, sleeping, binge-watching television, gambling compulsively, daydreaming, escaping through romance novels, sexual addictions, and substance addictions (2).

Now that you understand your main internal parts, I would like to help you understand that you also have a self or what Allison Cook and Kimberly Miller call your spirit-led self (2). Your self is nurturing, compassionate, confident, creative, courageous, curious, calm, connected, and so forth (2). This is the part that helps your internal family system identify its roles, hurts, and longings, and provides the nurture and guidance it needs to function as a healthy family. When your exile part is experiencing fear, your self has the ability to interact with curiosity and compassion when your manager is taking over and pushing your exile aside. Your self can thank your manager for trying to protect and give her permission to rest. When your firefighter overindulges on an entire television series, you can have compassion for its desire to help you feel better and give it permission to take a break. Finally, when your self approaches your anxious exile with curiosity and compassion, your inner wounded child-self has a safe place to be comforted and soothed from the worries she is not able to process on her own.

Learning how to strengthen the relationships in your internal family system is an excellent approach to stopping a negative and maladaptive anxiety cycle. If you would like to learn more about this process, the book Boundaries for Your Soul by Allison Cook, is an excellent resource. This process takes a great deal of commitment and practice, but it is also a practical and effective teaching tool on how to be more attentive to your internal, emotional needs. The final part of this blog series will wrap up with more practical concepts, ideas and additional resources that will help you tame the anxiety monster within.  Anxiety is an overwhelming reality for so many.  I hope this blog series encourages you as you learn that the present struggle you have with anxiety does not have to last forever!

Read the First Part Here 

Check Out Some Helpful Videos Here 

Resources

• Brewer, J. PhD. (2021 July/August). “We’ve Got Anxiety All Wrong.” Psychology Today.

• Cook, A. PhD. & Miller, K. (2018). Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Into Your Greatest Allies. Nashville: Nelson Books.

How to Master Effective Techniques for Calming Anxiety – Part 1

I recently asked friends and family on social media what mental health topic they would like to learn more about, and the resounding response was calming anxiety. In the United States, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness (1). In the first half of 2019, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that eight percent of the population had generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and in May 2020, that number rose to 30 percent (2). The COVID-19 pandemic and the drastic changes that came with it caused a 22 percent spike in the diagnosis of anxiety disorders.

For decades, people have been told that small doses of anxiety are helpful for the brain to focus and accomplish tasks. This belief came from a study in 1957 that showed how rats swam faster after holding their heads under water (2). In 2015, another study found that any level of stress inhibits performance and the more stress, the worse the performance (2). We see from the first study that the rats’ fear caused their brain to react with a normal fight, flight, freeze response. That type of fear reaction is adaptive in rats and humans, and it helps us get out of harm’s way. Anxiety is different because it arises from uncertainty or the unknown, and it is maladaptive (2).

Anxiety is maladaptive because it causes difficulty with thinking, performing, making logical decisions, and it predisposes us to depression (2). Most people do not realize that their approach to anxiety is often what keeps them in a constant dysfunctional cycle, reinforcing the brain’s reward center, and resulting in the brain responding with more anxiety so it can be rewarded again (2). For instance, when you worry and engage in activities that cause you to feel a sense of control, you feel better for a short time but you also reinforce a cycle of trigger, behavior, and reward (2).

A common negative response to anxiety is to tell yourself to stop worrying, rationalize away your feelings, attempt to escape them, or judge the anxious part of you. Those approaches do little to help and result in increased anxiety, not calming anxiety. A more helpful way to approach your anxiety is with curiosity and compassion. When you are experiencing anxiety, it is an indication that an internal part of you called your “exile” needs attention (3). As a preface here, it is completely normal for all humans to have inner parts of themselves, with the ultimate goal being that those parts work together as one unique whole called the “self”. I like to think of the exile part as your inner wounded child-self. It’s the part that is usually vulnerable, pushed aside and ignored. Just as a fearful 5-year-old needs comfort and assurance from an adult to calm down, our exile part needs the same approach from us. This process of interacting with your anxious part takes a great deal of practice, but you can start by personifying your exile part and visualizing yourself being compassionate toward it. Over time, exercises like this will become easier and you will begin to stop the cycle of reinforcing negative behaviors that lead to increased anxiety.

Now that you understand the misunderstood role of anxiety, you can see how the brain can become trapped in a cycle—seeking more anxiety to feel a sense of reward. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward calming anxiety and restoring balance to your nervous system. You’ve also learned that anxiety can be managed more adaptively by engaging your internal parts with curiosity and compassion rather than avoidance or self-criticism. In the second part of this series, we’ll explore how building a healthy relationship with these inner parts can further support calming anxiety and help you tame the anxiety monster within.

Read Part 2 Here

References

1. Anxiety & Depression Association of America. Retrieved from: https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics
2. Brewer, J. PhD. (2021 July/August). “We’ve Got Anxiety All Wrong.” Psychology Today.
3. Cook, A. PhD. & Miller, K. (2018). Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies. Nashville: Nelson Books

Here’s A Better Way to Approach New Year Goals

January is about beginnings! It’s the start of a new year, and many of us established goals and resolutions to accomplish. Most of us are eager to put 2020 behind us and hoping for the best in 2021.  However, we are also apprehensive about what it will look like with the COVID-19 pandemic still in full force. It’s now halfway through February and I wonder how you are doing with your goals.

Goals and resolutions are important, but commitment to them can be difficult. Various studies have been conducted on the success rates of these resolutions, and the majority of the studies reveal that 50% of people give up within one to three months; the 12-month success rates range from 8-20% (1). Many factors contribute to these statistics. Most individuals who give up could have a stronger connection to mental and emotional buffers that might keep them on track.

From the standpoint of brain structure, our prefrontal cortex (near our forehead) is responsible for our willpower, which can be compared to the more unconscious emotional power of the amygdala (near the back-center of our head) (2). When we have too many goals or life adjustments planned, we experience “cognitive [over]load,” which is taxing on our willpower (2). In this state, our resolutions create chronic stress that weakens our willpower and emotions.

If you want to stick to your 2021 goals, the key to success is improving your emotional health. Practicing self-care that includes rest for your body, mind, and soul is very important for emotional health. Lack of rest leads to negative thinking, poor decision-making, digestive problems, increased cravings for “junk food,” increased weight gain, increased in the “hunger hormone,” and so forth (3).

Another important aspect of emotional health is increasing your joy. Joy is experienced within relationships where someone is genuinely glad to be with you (4). It can also be increased by the daily practice of gratitude (4). When you are experiencing joy, you will crave food less, you will make better choices, and you will have more motivation to live out your goals. Joy helps our brains grow better than any healthy food and improves our immune system better than exercise (4).

As you think about what you would like to accomplish this year, remember that attending to your mental and emotional health will promote the needed “superpower” to remain faithful to what you would like to achieve.

Expand Your Learning

Blog: Boosting Productivity & Mental Clarity

Resources

1. Studies retrieved from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2980864/ and https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2728957/

2. Kennedy, J. J. Ph.D. (January, 1, 2021). The Neuroscience of Your New Year’s Resolution: How can You Be Happier, Thinner OR REALLY Successful in 2021?  Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-reboot/202101/the-neuroscience-your-new-year-s-resolution

3. Leaf, C. (April 16, 2018). Podcast: Episode #28: What Happens in Our Brain and Body When We Don’t Sleep. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiczGCYI7JA

4. Wilder, J. (2014). Joy Starts Here: The Transformation Zone. Shepherd’s House Inc.: East Peoria, IL.

Improve Your Focus During COVID-19 When You’re Anxious

The current pandemic has forced many people to stay home, leaving some feeling anxious, isolated, and easily distracted. Increased anxiety and lack of routine can make it hard to focus on work or school responsibilities. This video shares practical tips to help you stay productive, focused, and calm while managing anxious feelings at home.

Enhance Your Learning Here

Connecting With Your Spouse During COVID

Check Out Some Reels On Mental Health

Connecting With Your Spouse During COVID-19

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, most of our nation—and the world—has been under a stay-at-home order. Being confined at home can increase stress and tension within families, especially in your marriage. In this brief video, I share practical tips to help you strengthen your marriage, communicate more effectively, and foster a healthy connection with your spouse.

Expand Your Learning

Read Another Post on Regulating Your Emotions Here

Watch More Informative Videos From Me Here

“Push yourself to be someone, and then someday you will be someone.”

-Super Bowl Kia Commercial

The annual Super Bowl gives companies willing to spend big money the chance to promote their brands to millions of viewers. In recent years, these creative and often hilarious ads have carried deeper messages. This year, Kia aired an ad suggesting that you are a “no one” until you work hard enough to “be someone.” As a therapist, that message grieved me. Each week, I meet with clients who struggle with anxiety and depression, trapped in the belief that their worth is tied to performance. They live under the pressure to achieve in order to be accepted—believing their anxiety and depression will disappear once they land the job, earn the degree, make more money, become the perfect parent, or stop making mistakes.

The true message that I wish I had the “big bucks” to advertise is that every person is important just because they are human, and no amount of striving can ever make your life matter more. You matter because you are alive. You matter because you belong. You matter because you are made in the image of a loving God.

Read More About The Importance of Being Seen

Watch the Commercial Here on Performance

Why Being Seen By Others Leads To A Happy Life

The process of seeing that you are being seen is so important for your health. When we look into another person’s eyes our mirror neurons begin to fire. These mirror neurons are located in the identity center of the brain. The interesting fact about these neurons is they cannot look at themselves. They can only look at others and activate the neurons that reflect what they see (Jim Wilder). Since this takes place in our identity center, our sense of self or identity is also developed through our mirror neuron pathway. 

What does all of this “neuroscience talk” mean for mental health?

It means that by having eye contact with people who are happy to be with us, we are able to generate joy and feel secure in our identities. It also means that people who are isolated or surrounded by angry or negative people will struggle with loneliness, anger, and negativity. The worst part of all this is that interacting through text, social media or even FaceTime does not cause our mirror neurons to fire. These interactions are pseudo connections that leave us feeling isolated, unhappy and depressed. 

If you want to improve your happiness and health, one step you can take is to be intentional about spending face to face time with people who are happy to be with you. Be intentional about looking into people’s eyes and smiling when you talk and listen. Their mirror neurons will receive those same messages and you will both benefit from it. It also helps to limit your time spent with pseudo connections that leave you feeling isolated.

“the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;”

Numbers 6:25

Here Are Some Resources to Enhance Your Learning

Blog: Joy A Necessity of Life

Book by Dr. Dan Siegel, IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging